Fixing Your Wind - 011 Idle Chatter Part 3: Non-Stop Chatting

Wind-of-Wind-of-Wind: Unrestrained Talking

In our discussion on the trait of idle speech, we have begun to explain the kinds of idle speech that stem from wind-of-wind. Currently, we are up to discussing wind-of-wind-of-wind.

This is especially the case when it comes to speaking lashon hora, but the general idea of it is whenever a person speaks freely and loosely, without any restraint to his speech.

We mentioned in the past the words of the Chovos HaLevovos that says that “the lightest organ of the body is the tongue”, therefore, it is human nature to talk freely.

Let’s analyze this matter further: there are two different factors involved in speech.

The element of earth is the source of inner heaviness. When a person feels heavy inside, he finds it harder to move. As long as nothing is opposing a person, he finds it easy to “move”, but when man faces opposition, he finds it harder to “move.” However, man also has a deeply rooted nature to move, which means that it is nature of man to use his movements freely and without restraint. So when a person is not being opposed, not only will he find it easier to move, but he will move freely and lightly. This is the nature that stems from man’s aspect of wind-of-wind-of-wind.

But what is the root of this? Movement (tenuah) is a power that can be used for either good or evil, just like all other forces in man. Everything in Creation is moving. All living things – plants, animals, and people - move. Even rocks move, because the world is always in orbit. The Nefesh HaChaim also describes this in terms of an ongoing process of change in Creation; every moment, the entire Creation is changing and being renewed.

(There is also a deeper aspect of man, non-movement, which is known as the state of “Ayin”. But usually, Ayin is not revealed, and most of the time a person is in a state of movement.)

The Relationship Between Ruach\Movement and Bechira\Free Will

Movement (tenuah) is also known as the power of bechirah (free will). A person chooses where he will ‘move’ towards – towards good, or towards bad. When a person lives mechanically and by rote, he doesn’t really access his bechirah that much, so he will end up moving toward wherever it is easier for him to go towards. With regards to talking, “the tongue is the lightest part of the body”, and therefore, a person is drawn towards speaking words that flow freely from his mouth.

The Chazon Ish wrote that the heaviest part of the body is the tongue. This seems to argue directly on the words of the Chovos HaLevovos. But it is not a contradiction. When a person trains himself to be more silent and he is careful with his words, the more he does this, he will find that it is harder to talk. So our initial nature is to use our speech lightly and talk freely. But if we train ourselves to control what comes out of our mouth, then speech actually becomes heavier upon us – the heaviest aspect to our existence.

What, essentially, is the root behind wind-of-wind-of-wind?

The element of wind in the soul, ruach, is also known as bechirah (free will) according to the Vilna Gaon, because a person is always choosing in his bechirah where he will move towards. Thus, the more a person utilizes his bechirah, the more his movements will be given direction and precision. But when a person just lives by rote [taking life as it comes], he does not access his bechirah, and then the person will move without any restraint, because there is no direction being applied to his movements.

As a result, utilizing one’s bechirah therefore enables a person to ascend spiritually. In most people, the nature to ascend spiritually is not that active, and therefore the person is usually descending spiritually. This is because a person’s ruach is not activated, so his ruach spreads him out in many directions, like a wind out of control. He has no direction in his ‘movements’, and that is why he doesn’t ascend. Thus, using bechirah activates the ruach, which gives direction to a person’s movements, and then the person can ascend as he wishes to.

Some people have more ruach active in them than others, but in all people, ruach is the ability to direct one’s movements. It enables a person to grow as he would like to. The more a person recognizes himself well and directs himself, he uses his bechirah. This is the depth of using our power of bechirah, although there are more details to its use.  

Having understood that, now we will proceed to discuss a deeper point. Utilizing one’s bechirah\ruach helps a person control his movements, because when a person is used to giving direction and precision to his movements (when he is used to practicing self-restraint on his actions and making sure to always choose correctly), a person will be able to naturally avoid superficial kinds of movements.

Thus, we can now understand better the words of the Chazon Ish that the tongue is the heaviest part of the body. The meaning of his words is that the more a person is used to practicing silence and self-restraint over his words, the heavier he will find speech to be upon himself.

Restraining Physical Movements

There are really two sides to the coin: your outer movements, and your inner movements. There is a concept that one can use his outer movements to awaken his inner movements; one can get through to his inside using his outside[1]. The other side of the coin is that one can use inner movement (his self-control) to direct his outer movements with more precision.

The Kuzari writes that when a person dances, it can awaken a person’s inner essence to burst forth in joy, through the outer movements of the dancing. However, what usually happens when people dance, or they get very excited in general? What usually happens is that the person performs many kinds of movements, without restrain, and then he loses control over his movements. As a result, he will perform movements that are beyond his actual level of emotional energy, and then he will be harming his soul in the process.

So physical movements, when they are not restrained, can be very harmful to a person’s soul and cause him to act bizarre, and he will feel drained afterwards, because he has used up so much emotional energy.

If a person gets very emotional, he is able to talk excessively and without restraint. He can talk and talk and talk about whatever he is getting emotional about. What happens as a result? The unrestrained talking causes him to have much inner movement that have no direction, and he will get sent in all kinds of directions!

The Root Of Speaking Gossip

Most people who talk excessively, especially those who habitually talk lashon hora (gossip), are doing so because they simply have no control over their speech. They speak freely. The type of person who is always talking lashon hora doesn’t just have a problem of talking lashon hora. The root of it is really a lack of self-control, because wherever he is, whether he’s at home or in a public place or in the shul or in the beis midrash, he’s talking lashon hora. So it’s a lack of control over his speech\movement.

Thus, when a person has unrestrained movement, it is not simply because his emotions have overtaken him. The root of this is because his aspect of wind-of-wind-of-wind is impaired.

Most people, when moving\talking, are moving only on the outside, and they do not have any inner movement. Thus, the movements of most people are usually superficial. But if one is calmer inside of himself, his physical movements will also become calmer, because he is used to self-control, so he doesn’t go overboard in his emotional reactions. Even when he does get very emotional (and indeed, all of us have times in which we get very emotional and excited, because we all have in us of wind-of-wind-of-wind), he will still be calm as he is in his “movement”. He will be able to contain himself and restrain himself even as he’s getting very excited.

Deeper Self-Control: Keeping Your Innerness Reserved

Now we will say a deeper point about the concept of directing your inner movements. [Until now, we explained how one’s inner calmness [“being calm, cool, and collected”] can provide more self-control over his physical movements and emotional excitement. Now we will explain something about one’s inner world itself and how to give it direction from within.]

One’s innerness needs to be contained in himself. Woe is to the person who reveals everything that’s going on in his inside! When a person lives an inner life, he knows that it doesn’t have to be revealed outward. Even when one does reveal his innerness, it should be revealed slowly and in parts, not all at once. When one has reached inner movement (silence), he knows how to keep his innerness hidden. He doesn’t reveal all of his thoughts to others. One can absorb an idea and not tell it to anyone. The idea actually develops better that way.

One has to know that he in himself a kind of ‘reshus hayachid’ (“private domain”), a place that is yechidi (“individual”) – a private aspect of himself that must not be revealed. This refers to one’s inner thoughts that are holy, which are meant to be your own “secret”. Chazal say that it is forbidden to reveal another’s secret. The deeper meaning of this is that every person has in himself certain “secrets” that he needs to know how to keep. Eventually one may speak of it to others, but even then, it should only be revealed slowly, and not all at once. [This is a deeper kind of control over your inner movements.]

We find that by the Simcha Beis HaShoeivah that they would dance freely and let go of themselves.  There are certainly times in which can let himself simcha (joy) flow freely, such as when he has a big simcha and he wishes to express his deep emotions. But as a general course of action, a person should not let go of his movements, and he should keep himself restrained.

The Alter of Kelm said that when a deep thought would come to him, he would not tell anyone about it for 20 years, until he revealed it to others. When asked about this, he said that the fact that he held onto it for 20 years allowed the thought to be nurtured and deepened. Most of the time we do not know of our depth, and even if a depth of understanding comes to us, it should not be revealed to others that fast.

Living like this changes one’s life totally. The point is that we need to keep something inside and let it develop and absorb. It is hard to know exactly when a person should let his private insights be revealed to others, and how. But the general concept of it is for one to let his deep insights stay private in himself, where it can be allowed to absorb.

This will also result in having more restrain over his physical movements as well; he will find that he doesn’t have to move as much as he used, because he receives movement from his innerness.

Think about how much physical movement people do. Most movements are not necessary, and they are merely learned behaviors which a person is not aware of. For example, how many people are aware of how much they nod their heads during davening? The more a person is concentrated on his inner movements, he is more precise when it comes to his physical movements as well. He will move less, and when he does move, it is more controlled.

In this way, one returns his wind-of-wind-of-wind to its holy root, and instead of becoming unrestrained lashon hora, it becomes the power in oneself to guide his movements.

These are the true bnei aliyah (spiritually ascending people), who use all their ruach to always grow higher in their ruchniyus. Of course, a person always has a physical body with its human weaknesses, even if he is always making use of his wind-of-wind-of-wind correctly. But he will still be a growing person, because he knows how to control himself and is keenly aware of himself as he moves, which changes his whole orientation in life.

Becoming Aware of Your Movements

When a person shakes during davening, is he aware of this? If he does, does he know why he is shaking…? Often, much of the physical movements that a person is doing is not being done with awareness, and rather mechanically. It is usually not being done to awaken the person’s kavanah by davening – it is simply habitual, with no self-awareness whatsoever to it.

Another point which we will mention pertaining to this, is that each person needs to give outlet for his need for movement and make sure that his body move a little bit every day; and he needs to be aware of the movement as it’s happening.

Do this for the sake of your own physical body’s needs! I don’t mean you should go swimming in the Kinneret every day for 2 hours. Just pay attention to the movements as you are moving, so that you can teach yourself how to be aware of movement, as you are in it.

So when you do have to move physically, just be aware of why you are moving. If you are eating, be aware that you are eating. If you are going to sleep, be aware that you are going to sleep.

When a person doesn’t move when he is supposed to (for example, when a person needs to get up from his seat and get a sefer from the shelf, and he is lazy so he doesn’t get up to get it), the movements will become stifled, and they will burst out at a later point, and it often be a negative outburst.

This is a very common cause for anger: when a person wanted to move and he restrained himself too much, tension is produced from this, and the imprisoned movement will want to assert itself at some point, and it might come out in the form of an angry outburst. We can see this common in children, when they are restrained too much from moving, and then they become antsy and they will lose their temper.

Anger is just one example that can result from being too rigid with one’s movements. As long as movement is being restrained too much, the movement will need to come out at some point, and it will be some kind of dysfunctional outburst.

So when one moves physically, there must be awareness to the movement, and the movement must be allowed to be expressed, or else it will create an inner tension.

A person who really works on this idea will be very in control of his physical movements, as well as be very self-aware of them.

The Root of Stopping Evil Speech

This is the root of fixing the tendency to speak lashon hora.

Although one must certainly learn the laws of Shemiras HaLashon (guarding speech)– and this is the first thing one must do if he wishes to ever fix this sin – still, he will not be able to restrain himself from speaking lashon hora unless he learns how to practice self-control. A person cannot simply tell himself, “I won’t speak lashon hora.” It doesn’t work. You might know the laws of lashon hora very well, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to stop yourself from talking lashon hora!

What a person should do is, that together with learning the laws of shemiras halashon, he should also learn the art of self-restraint over his movements (as it was explained here).

In this way, a person works on the matter both through his outside and inside, and herein lays the depth of fixing the wind-of-wind-of-wind in the soul.