Getting to Know Your Torah - 17 View Torah As Your Essence

Three Perspectives On How One Views His Torah Learning

In the morning, we make a blessing over our Torah learning: “To be involved in Your words of Torah” (la’asok b’divrei Torasecha).

To “involve ourselves” means “eisek” in Hebrew; “eisek” can also mean an argument\fight. Eisek HaTorah thus represents a lower kind of Torah study, in which the learning is perceived of as a fight, as an “eisek” that one has to deal with.

(There is also a level even lower than eisek HaTorah, but we are not discussing this.)

There is a level of learning Torah that is above eisek HaTorah. This is the Torah learning of Torah scholars, who “increase peace in the world” with their learning.

So there are three levels altogether:

1) The lowest level of learning, which is the level lower than eisek HaTorah.

2) Eisek HaTorah, being involved in the “fight” of Torah study.

3) The level that is above Eisek HaTorah.

The Higher and Lower Attitudes Towards One’s Learning

As of now, the level we are currently on is Eisek HaTorah, the middle level.

Previously[1], we discussed how there are two general levels of Torah learning. The higher level is called “Torah”, and the lower level is called “Mitzvos.”

We are currently at the lower level, Mitzvos, which reflects Eisek HaTorah - as we say in the blessing, “Blessed are You, Hashem…that You have commanded us to be involved in Your words of Torah.” The mitzvos are the result of our Torah study; our entire level of Torah, ever since of the sin of the Golden Calf, has fallen from the level of “Torah” to the level of “Mitzvos.”

What, indeed, is the difference between these two levels of Torah learning?

Chazal[2] say that “Greater is the one who is commanded and he performs, than the one who is not commanded but performs.” Why? It is because someone who is exempt from a mitzvah doesn’t have the evil inclination to persuade him from doing it. But if someone is commanded to do a mitzvah, his evil inclination will try to sway him from doing the mitzvah. Therefore, someone who is obligated to do the mitzvah is greater if he performs it than someone who performs the mitzvah when he isn’t obligated to do it.

With this, we can now understand the difference between learning Torah on the higher level, Torah, than learning Torah on the lower level, Mitzvos. When someone learns Torah on the higher level – “Torah” – he is greater, because his commanded to do learn Torah and he does it. When someone learns Torah on the lower level, “Mitzvos”, he is like the person who performs the mitzvah when he doesn’t have to, because his evil inclination isn’t trying to sway him from learning Torah.

When someone learns Torah at the higher level, “Torah”, he feels commanded to do so – he knows that the commandment to learn Torah is part of his very essence. As the sefer Nefesh HaChaim writes, the Torah is the very soul of man, for it is the breath of Hashem; and when a person learns Torah, he is connecting with his essence. The will to learn Torah, in essence, stems from one’s very soul.

When a person sins, it is really because he doesn’t have the right perception of who he is. If he would be aware that the will of Hashem is what personifies his essence, he never would come to sin. The only reason why a person sins is because of this underlying mistake that the person makes: he differentiates between his essence and what he wants. He thinks, “I exist, but I also want things. The two have nothing to do with each other.” He forgets that his very will is supposed to be the will of Hashem, and that is how he comes to sin.

(This is also the difference between a real thought and the imagination. Real thought are the thoughts in a person that reveal to a person what he truly wants, that the will of Hashem is his very essence. Imagination comes and persuades a person that there is Hashem’s will and his own will…)

When a person learns at the lower level, Mitzvos\Eisek HaTorah – then he will encounter many struggles with his evil inclination. This is really because he differentiates between his actual essence and his will. This resembles the level of imagination, which is when a person differentiates between what he wants with what Hashem wants.

The very attitude that a person can have in which he views his own will as apart from Hashem’s will is the root of all struggles with evil. If a person would get past this erroneous attitude, he wouldn’t have to struggle with evil inclinations.

At the lower level of learning, Eisek HaTorah, a person views Torah as an “eisek” – something he has to deal with, something that opposes him. That is why it is the lower level of learning.

Vitality Based Upon the Present Vs. Vitality Based Upon the Future

The higher level of learning, “Torah”, is a totally different perspective on one’s Torah learning. The lower level, Eisek HaTorah\Mitzvos is essentially when a person is living off his aspirations for the future. He is like someone who gets his vitality in life from the fact that he hopes and believes that Moshiach will come; but the higher level, Torah, is when a person is getting his vitality in life from the present.

Deriving vitality from the present means that even if we don’t know what will be in the future, we still are able to move on. This is hinted to in the second aspect of our belief in Moshiach’s arrival, when we say, “And even though he tarries, I still wait for him.”

There are some people who live based entirely on their aspirations. What is erroneous about this? It is because they are living off of the future. The real way to live is to derive vitality from the present. We are supposed to live and experience every second of our life, and it is not enough for us to just have aspirations for the future. We need vitality from the here and now.

If a person merits, even for one moment in his life, to experience a revelation of his true, inner will – the will to do Hashem’s will – of him, it can be said that he is a “ben olam haba”, a “son of the World To Come.”

It’s possible that a person is learning Torah for many years, day and night – but all of his learning is only on the lower level of learning, Eisek HaTorah. He learns Torah diligently…but he doesn’t view Torah as his very essence. He’s not deriving vitality from his learning in the present moment…

But if someone learns Torah all day because he views Torah learning as his very essence, because he knows that this is what his inner will is – such a person derives vitality from the present, and he doesn’t just live in his aspirations. His recognition of Hashem will be obviously greater.

Thus, Torah is not just about “learning” the Torah – it serves as a revelation of a person’s inner will, his essence – the will to do Hashem’s will.