Rosh HaShanah - 023 Changing Our Action | Part 1 of 3

Entering A New Year

We are, Baruch Hashem, less than two weeks away from the new year. If we want to do anything properly, we need to prepare for it. Without preparation, we usually cannot do it properly.

For example, if a person doesn’t learn how to shake a lulav and esrog, he might take it upside down, and he doesn’t fulfill the mitzvah. Without preparation, the actions after that will not be performed properly. We are speaking about the coming new year. We must prepare ourselves for it. How do we prepare for the new year?

In any learning institution, they don’t learn the same thing every day. The new year should also not be the same thing as last year.

If a first grader is left back in first grade, has a problem, how embarrassing is it to get left back even one year, and surely two or three years. I never heard of a child who gets left back three years in a grade. Anyone who gets left back has a major problem, and it’s bad for shidduchim when people hear of such things.

So too, when we enter the new year, we must leave the previous year behind.

Life tends to flow along by itself. Either we can take life as it comes and just let ourselves flow along with it [which is to become complacent], or we can realize that we must begin again anew when we enter a new year.

When the year ends, we need to ask ourselves, “What have I gotten from this year?” This is the first thing to examine. The year is almost over. Before we prepare for the next year, first we need to see what this year was.

Take a pen and paper and think a little and write down what you gained this year. First write down general things, like the fact that you learned Torah and did mitzvos. Then ask yourself: “Has my heart changed? Has my way of thinking changed?”

What changed from Elul of last year to Elul of this year? What happened to you this year?

This takes time, but it’s the minimum, not the maximum. Now when it comes Erev Rosh HaShanah, think, what do you want to get out of the next year? What came out of this year, and what do you want from next year?

If you see that this year was a good year, that’s wonderful. But if you see that this past year was unfulfilling, you need to examine your mistakes. Learn from others and from yourself. You learn from yourself when you see that you keep making the same mistakes. If you only made a mistake once then it’s just a mistake, but if you keep making the same mistake again and again, it must because you’re not paying attention to it. You need to become aware of it so that you don’t make the same mistakes again this year.

Reflecting

Every one of us, Baruch Hashem, usually has a will to live. We all want to live. But are we clear how we want to end our life, what we want it to look like?

People want money and all kinds of ambitions, and they want to end their life like that. What about our inner accomplishments? How do we want to look on the day we die?

Usually people respond to this, “I want to end my life being very happy.” Yes, we all want this, but how do want our life to look like, to where do we want to get to? When traveling from place to place, a person can be very clear to where he has to get to. What do we want our day of death to look like?

Dovid HaMelech said, “My heart is empty within me.” He had an empty space in his heart. We all have good and evil in our heart. Dovid emptied the evil from his heart, so he was left with an empty space, a chalal. The Sages say that Dovid killed his yetzer hora through fasting. Do any of us aspire for such a thing, to empty ourselves out from evil in the heart?

If you ask anyone if he wants to be a millionaire, the answer is “Yes.” If you ask someone, “Is that realistic?” The answer is “No.” How many people actually become millionaires, even though they all want to be? People want to be millionaires, but they don’t believe they can do it, therefore, they don’t become millionaires, even though they would like to be.

Here is an example that can apply to those who have been learning Torah for years. Is there anyone who doesn’t want to know the entire Shas? Probably all people want to know it. Is there anyone who wants to know it by the time he dies? This sounds like a miracle. So we all want, but we don’t believe we can actualize what we want. If we aren’t clear where we want to get to, there is very little chance for success.

Are we clear in where we have to get to at the end of our life? Usually miracles don’t happen. So the question is very clear and simple: How would we want the end of our life to look like?

For example, if a person wants to have a lev tov and think good of others and not have jealousy, does he really believe he can get to that aspiration? We can bring many examples, but it’s a clear and simple question. Chazal say that desire, jealousy, and honor takes a person out of this world. Does a person believe that by the time he does he will rid himself of jealousy, or desire, or seeking honor? “A person does not die with half his desires fulfilled.” Does a person know that running after honor only makes honor run away from him? Does he believe in himself that he can ever to get to such a level in which he doesn’t seek honor…?

We are presenting a very clear question.

When a person lends money to someone irresponsible, if he believes the person will be able to pay back the money, he’ll sign the papers to lend him the money, if not, he doesn’t sign. Are we clear in how we will sign our life at the end of our life, just as a person lending money who is confident that it will be paid back so he signs?

The Rosh says to “always place the day of death before you”. What does this mean – to always live your life with fears and anxiety that maybe you will die? No, that’s not what it means. It means to know where you want to get to in life, how you want to look like at the end of life when you die. The question is very clear: Does a person know how we wants to end his life and does he believe he can actualize his aspirations?

To illustrate: Does anyone think he has no desires? We all have desires. A child has desires, and when we get older, we still have desires, just the desires change. A child likes toys, and an adult is on to bigger and better things, but we all have desires. Do we have any aspiration that evil desires should leave us? Will we just remain with all our desires throughout our whole life and die with them? Do we have any aspiration to leave desires?

We all know that desire is not a good thing, we don’t need it, but we come to feel, This is how I am, we are materialistic. If a person doesn’t believe he can come out of desires, it’s as if he’s dead right now, upon deeper reflection. Of course, he’s not actually dead, but with regards to desires, it’s as if he is dead, because he considers desires to be impossible to overcome, therefore there is no difference between his life and his death, with regards to desires.

So we need Hashem’s help. As Chazal say, without Hashem’s help, we cannot overcome the yetzer hora. It is impossible for us to accomplish anything on our own. The yetzer hora is an angel, and we are humans, so we have no chance against a powerful angel. A baal gaavah (arrogant person) or a baal dimyon (delusional person) thinks he can overcome the yetzer hora, but a realistic person knows that he can’t. “So if I can’t overcome the yetzer hora, what does Hashem want from me? Why does He want me to overcome the yetzer hora, if I can’t??”

The more realistic a person is, the more he can see that success is really impossible. There are many difficulties to deal with. So how indeed can we succeed? “Hashem is close to anyone who calls out to Him in truth.” If we call out to Him with emes, “in truth”, He hears us. If we call out to Him but not with emes, then we aren’t answered!

What does it mean to truly “call out” to Hashem? One kind of person calls out to Hashem because he has problems. But does such a person believe that only Hashem can help him? A person has to feel like a “mes mitzvah” (helpless corpse) towards Hashem, that he is basically dead unless Hashem helps him.  A “mes mitzvah” is truly helpless.

A person must know that he cannot help himself, but even more so, he must know that no one can help him – no one except Hashem Himself. Hashem has no limits, and he can give us unlimited help.

Believe That You Can Change

Now we will return to the first point. How will we look on the day of death? None of us knows clearly what it will look like. But what we can know is, that if you know that Hashem can help you come out of any problem, you will be able to end your life and escape the problem.

Do we really believe we can change? Not just to change a little - but a lot. We can change a lot, not because we have the power to change on our own, but because Hashem can help us – that is, if we turn to Him for help.

Believing In Moshiach

Here is another example.

One of our 13 beliefs is to believe in the coming of Moshiach. Do any of us believe he will come??

We are living in a world that is full of so many problems, so much evil and impurity. How will Moshiach come to such an evil world like today’s world? It makes sense that Moshiach should have come to the generation of the desert, which was called the dor de’ah (generation of knowledge), they were on a high level, and they were really deserving of Moshiach. But today’s generation, which is so lowly – how can he come?? This generation is so undeserving of Moshiach. It doesn’t make sense that he should come in today’s times. He should come to take away all the impurity – then it makes sense that he should come now!

The Chofetz Chaim once said, “Ribono shel olam, please bring Moshiach. If we would wait one more generation, nobody will want to bring him.”

In other words – logically speaking, it doesn’t make sense that Moshiach should come in today’s generation, which is very lowly. But we must await him every day. How can we await his arrival every day if it doesn’t make sense he will come today?? One would have to be very naïve and disconnected from reality in order to await Moshiach. A person like this has a good eye. But if someone sees reality, it does not make sense that Moshiach can come in this generation. It would take a miracle.

But the depth is, we must await Moshiach, even though he tarries – because if we really want Moshiach, we believe, and then he will come. We must want that change he will bring about. But how much do we believe that there can be changes? Do we really want the change from exile to redemption, in which there will be no more impurity, when the world will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem, and there will be no bad middos? Does anyone believe that such a change can happen to a world like today’s times?

Most people want Moshiach so that their problems will go away, to solve shidduchim and parnassah and health problems. But for this we wouldn’t need Moshiach – the Baal Shem Tov or Baba Sali could do that.

Moshiach will bring a change to the entire world – everything will change over, totally! Is there any president who can change over the entire America? We all know that this is impossible. No one person can change the world. Nobody can change a country with millions of people, and surely not the entire world.

Reb Yisrael Salanter said, “When I was young, I wanted to change the world. When I got a little older, I wanted to change my country. When I got older I wanted to change my city, then I realized I could only change my neighbors, and then I realized that I can only change my family. Then I realized that the only one I can change is myself – and even that is hard to do.”

So nobody can change the world. How then will Moshiach change the world, every person? How can it be that in one moment everyone will change, without exception? Does anyone believe in such a thing? If you think about it deeply, it does not make any logical sense.

Rosh HaShanah and Changing

“Rosh HaShanah” means “Rosh L’Shinuyim” – the “beginning of changes”, because change is “shinuy”, from the word “shanah”, year. What kind of change do we believe we can have? The true answer is that we can change over totally!

It doesn’t mean that we have power on our own to change. It means that if we turn to Hashem, truly, then we can change totally.  But first we must aspire that we can change in the first place.

We all daven on Rosh HaShanah for a good year. We daven for parnassah. Does everyone here have good parnassah…? What changed since last year? We all davened for a good year. We are davening every year. Did anything change? Did our situations get better? Did troubles go away? No - most of the troubles are still here. But we can still believe that things can change. We can also believe that a day can come in which everything will change. If we don’t believe in change, if we don’t aspire for changes in our life, we surely can’t believe in Moshiach who will change the world – and then we won’t merit to see Moshiach.

We can believe that we can totally change – not because we are powerful, but only because we can be helped by Hashem, if we truly turn to Him.

“A pure heart Hashem created me with.” We ask Hashem for a lev tahor, for a pure heart, for a new heart. We also day, “And purify our hearts to serve You in truth” – that we understand. But to create us with a entirely new “pure heart”?? Do we believe we can receive a whole new heart from Hashem? If we believe, we can get it. If we don’t believe, we won’t get it.

Rosh HaShanah is about shinuy, changes. The 10 Days of Teshuvah are days to do teshuvah – and what is teshuvah? To change. How do we have the power to change? There is a special opportunity of these 10 days, which help us change. These days are days of change, but the question is - how much we believe we can change.

Changing over, totally, is the root of the entire year. Only with Hashem’s help can we change totally, but how do get to that? We have to use our abilities and try as hard as we can, and along with this, we must cry to Hashem for help. You can’t do one without the other – trying is not enough, and crying is not enough. You have to try and cry. And then you will arouse Hashem’s compassion.

So we cannot escape our faults from our own abilities. But we can still escape them, if we believe that we can. Will we merit it? It depends. If you try your best, and you cry to Hashem as well - “in truth” - then Hashem hears you, because He hears all those who call out to Him in truth.

To prepare for the next year, one must want to change totally. “A pure heart Hashem created me with.” All evil in the heart must be uprooted – all of it. How can we work on all of that? We can only work on one area at a time. But when we cry to Hashem, we must cry to Him to give us an entirely new heart - to purify our entire heart, to escape all the evil that resides in it; not just to leave one bad middah, but to wish to leave all of the evil in it.

Is that how we are coming in to Rosh HaShanah? Do we believe that Hashem can purify us totally, or do we not believe in such a request?

We have free choice to decide what our aspirations are this year. If we believe we can change, that’s Rosh HaShanah. If not, the day of Rosh HaShanah is a lost opportunity.

Aspiring

There are different kinds of “katnus” (immaturity). One kind of katnus is how a child behaves; he behaves with immaturity. Another kind of katnus is when a person has katnus in his aspirations. If a person knows he has katnus, that is a quality; it is humility, because he is self-aware. But if a person has katnus in his aspirations, there is nothing worse than this.

If a person thinks he is great, he is delusional. A person can be aware that he has katnus but he still has aspirations for greatness; that is the proper perspective to have.

A person usually doesn’t believe that he can reach greatness. We are children of the Avos, and Chazal say that one must aspire to reach the actions of Avos. Do we believe we can be on the level of Avos? We don’t. But Chazal say that we should aspire for it! How? If we cry to Hashem for help, we can get there. Not because of our own power, but because Hashem can help us.

Leaving Work In America To Go Learn In Eretz Yisrael

I will give a simple example.

Baruch Hashem, people here are learning Torah and doing mitzvos, each to his own. Is anyone here prepared to leave everything behind and go to Eretz Yisrael and learn Torah from morning until night? Most people would say “Yes, I want to”. But do you believe you can actually do it?

The answers will be something like, “Maybe in a few years, and even then, I don’t know. To move to Eretz Yisrael? To learn the whole day?? Impossible. It’s not realistic.” Logically speaking, this makes sense. Plus, where will parnassah come from? These are all good issues.

There are no answers to these issues. From a logical perspective, it doesn’t make sense to move to Eretz Yisrael and learn Torah.

We daven every day in Shemoneh Esrei that we should return to Eretz Yisrael. Maybe that’s why the request for parnassah comes before that blessing, so that first one can have parnassah, and then he’ll go...!

We daven every day that we should return to Eretz Yisrael. Imagine if you would be offered a free ticket to Eretz Yisrael. Would you be prepared to leave everything behind? This is what you daven for every day. Do you really want it? Or do you just daven these words every day because Chazal established that we daven for it…?

Of course, logically speaking, it doesn’t make sense for you to leave this country and move to Eretz Yisrael, and to stop working and learn a whole day. It would also cause you to be very irresponsible. If you don’t have emunah, you won’t be able to do it. If you have emunah, though - you can do it.

With Emunah, You Can Do The Impossible

The question is: if we believe that we can change over.

Once I gave a shiur in Cholon, which is not such a Chareidi area. Someone there decided that he will move to a place in which there is Torah, so he moved to Yerushalayim. But in Cholon he had a Kolel, which gave him parnassah, and he left it all behind, so that he could be in Yerushalayim, where there is Torah.  He decided that he will leave it all so he can move to Yerushalayim, without any plan, not knowing what will be.

After he moved, he asked me, “How did I have the power to do things that are not logical? I needed to make effort to make a living.” He could have asked this question earlier, before he moved.

I asked him, “Why did you move? It didn’t make sense. You first should have found a source of parnassah in Yerushalayim, and then you should have moved.”

But the answer is, when a person has the light of emunah with him, he can do things that other people aren’t capable of, and that is why this person is able to move.

In Conclusion

Emunah means to believe that you really can change. It is not enough to wish to change – you have to really believe that there can be a change.

The first clarification one needs to make is: How much do you believe you can change? Again, to emphasize, you can’t change on your own, and you need Hashem’s help. But how much do you believe that you can totally change over with Hashem’s help? If you truly believe, you will get helped.

With the help of Hashem, in the next classwe will speak about how we can go about changing, but first, we must have this ingrained: believe that you can change.

This is the gift of Rosh HaShanah – the beginning of a new year of changes. May we receive help from Hashem to believe in this.