Tefillah - 114 Asking For Reward

The “Reward” Level, The “Free Gift” Level, and The “Selfless” Level

ותן שכר טוב לכל הבוטחים בשמך באמת   We ask Hashem to give “good reward” to those who trust in Him.

There is a system of reward and punishment, and this is the elementary level of serving Hashem. When we are deserving due to our good deeds, we get rewarded by Hashem, and if we are undeserving, we do not get reward.

Higher than this is the level of matnas chinam – a “free gift”; in Heaven there is a treasury of matnas chinam, which Moshe Rabbeinu saw when he ascended to Heaven. This treasury of matnas chinam is essentially when Hashem gives to a person not due to any reward he is deserving of.

Even higher than this, though, is the level of lishmah, where he doesn’t ask for anything at all from Hashem, and he does it solely for Hashem; this level is reached completely by tzaddikim.

The tzaddikim would ask Hashem to be given things from His treasury of matnas chinam, and not because they felt deserving due to their good deeds. But there is still a higher level which tzaddikim reached. When a person asks for matnas chinam, it’s still not lishmah, because he still wants things for himself. Only lishmah is the ultimate level, in which a person selflessly does Hashem’s Will.

So there are three levels – asking Hashem to be rewarded, asking for a matnas chinam, and lishmah.

The First Level: Asking Hashem For “Good Reward”

First let us understand what it means when we ask here in Shemoneh Esrei for a “good reward.” What does “good reward” mean? Is there reward that is not good?

Also, there is a statement of our Sages, “They toil and we toil; we receive reward and they don’t receive reward.” What does this mean? Don’t we see the world getting rewarded and having a good life? The simple answer is because they (who are immersed in worldly pursuits) receive reward only for the results of their efforts, but they don’t get reward for their efforts; while those who engage in spiritual improvement (i.e. Torah study) get reward even for our efforts, even if there are no results.

But the deeper meaning of this is that those who pursue Torah study [and spiritual improvement] have the “good reward” – Hashem repays us for what we do, and since Hashem is completely good and He created the world in order to bestow good upon His creations. Therefore, there is a concept of reward, and this is the “good reward” – when we recognize this. The whole concept of reward, then, is not simply about us getting the reward. It is because Hashem created the world to bestow good upon us. All of our avodah is a tool that brings this about. So “good reward” is because it comes from a completely good place, from the Source of all good.

Thus, we ask for “good reward”. Rav Chaim Volozhiner says that even when we ask for reward, we should also bear in mind that Hashem wants to bestow good upon us. Hashem wants to give us even when we don’t do avodah. In the end of the day we still have to do our avodah; but He really wants to give it to us even when we don’t do avodah.

This is unlike the payment system we see on this world. A boss wouldn’t want to pay his worker if the worker doesn’t work well, and even when he does pay his workers, he’d rather not have to use up his money; he doesn’t always give it with a “good eye”. But Hashem isn’t like that. Hashem gives it to us with a “good eye”, and He also would give it to us even if we wouldn’t work, because He gives it from His goodness. He is all about bestowing good. That is the “good reward” – when we realize that Hashem gives us what we need because He gives it to us out of His goodness, the reward is “good” when we ask for it from this inner perspective.

Rachmana litzlan, if someone asks Hashem for reward in the same he ways he asks a boss for payment, this is not the “good reward” that we ask for. Rather, when we ask Hashem for reward, it is a way for us to connect to Him through this. It’s still shelo lishmah, but it is a way for us to ask reward in a way that we connect to His goodness. It is a way for us to connect ourselves to the Giver, and Hashem wants us to connect with Him.

This is the first level – asking Hashem for good reward.

The Higher Level: Asking Hashem For ‘Matnas Chinam’\A Free Gift

The higher level is to ask Hashem for matnas chinam (a free gift). The tzaddikim, when they ask Hashem for things, ask Him to give it from His treasury of matnas chinam, and not because they are deserving.

What does it mean to ask for matnas chinam? Simply, it means to ask for a free gift. But what kind of request is this? How dare we ask for a free gift?

The understanding is, that if we truly recognize how much Hashem loves us, we are able to ask Hashem to give us a free gift. Only someone who loves us would give us a free gift. Chinam is from the word chein (grace) – you give a free gift to someone who has chein by you. So when a person really feels how much Hashem loves him, he is the kind of person who can indeed ask Hashem for a free gift.

When someone understands why he needs to ask Hashem for good reward, he is closer to recognizing how Hashem can also give us a matnas chinam. The closer a person is to Hashem – the truer the bond is – the more he is eligible to make the request of matnas chinam.

Therefore, when a person feels he is full of sin and thus he feels he can’t ask for matnas chinam, although it is good that he is self-aware of his level, he is missing a recognition of how much we can bond with Hashem. He feels undeserving of matnas chinam, but he doesn’t realize that Hashem really wants to give it to us. We aren’t asking for matnas chinam due to our level – it is purely from our bitachon in Hashem that He can give it to us even though we don’t deserve!

The first level, “good reward”, depends on keeping the Torah and mitzvos. We have to be deserving in order to get “good reward.” But when it comes to matnas chinam, you can ask for it as long as you have bitachon in Hashem - because that gives you chein. Matnas chinam is all about having chein by Hashem; it is not about being “deserving” or not. The whole concept of matnas chinam is that we have chein by Hashem and that is why He gives it to us; and we can have chein by Hashem just by having bitachon that He can give us a matnas chinam. It’s not a regular kind of reward. It’s higher than the level of reward.

However, someone has to first recognize the first level, “good reward” (by recognizing that Hashem wants to give us reward because He created this world in order to bestow good upon us), and only after that can he draw himself closer to the higher level, which is matnas chinam.

So although we need to make ourselves deserving, by keeping Torah and mitzvos, that is only the outer aspect. We must also be aware of the inner aspect, which is that we can ask Hashem for matnas chinam, that even when we are undeserving we can still find chein by Hashem. First you can feel like a son asking from a father after you’re deserving, and then, connect yourself to your Father simply because you want a relationship with Him, like a son who longs to connect to his Father.

When you enter that inner perspective you reveal matnas chinam.

We all ask things from Hashem. We usually don’t think what kind of reward we are asking for. We must know if we are asking for reward or if we are asking for matnas chinam. Then we need to connect them together. We need to ask of Hashem both for the ‘good reward’ as well for matnas chinam.

The Highest Level: Lishmah

There is a higher level than this as well: lishmah. This is when a person doesn’t ask for anything at all, and he does Hashem’s will solely to do His will, and not because he needs to get something from Hashem.

We all have needs – material and spiritual. Denying this is like denying you have a hand; we all have deficiencies. So we all have things that we need to fill; we cannot deny our needs. So how are we able to live lishmah??

It is a very deep point in our soul.  Chazal say that “one must be happy with his lot (someach b’chelko). How can a person do this? There are many ways, but with regards to our discussion, there is a point in our soul where we can be happy with everything and we don’t think about what we are missing at all. This is really the point of lishmah – it is a place in ourselves where we are so happy with all that we have that we don’t even ask for anything, not even for matnas chinam.

In this deep place of lishmah in our soul (and it needs to be revealed, but we all have it), we are lacking nothing. This deep place in our soul is able to focus on just what we have, and it doesn’t think at all about what we are missing. You can’t deny this place in yourself, just like you should not deny that you lack things.

So we have two places in our soul. The outer layer of our soul feels lacking, and the inner layer of our soul feels totally content, and we have both perspectives at once. The deep place in our soul is connected with Hashem, so in that place in ourselves, we are missing nothing.

We cannot live there totally, but we must access it somewhat, even if we only access it momentarily. It is the place in our soul where we connect completely with Hashem and there, there is nothing but joy. “Joy and splendor in His place.” Anyone with a Jewish soul can reach this place in himself, because it is there; it is just not always revealed openly.

So we ask Hashem for things, and this is when we ask for “good reward”. The higher level is to ask for matnas chinam. The highest level is when we feel content and not lacking for a thing. We need all three perspectives together, unified.

The second and third levels are subtle matters, but we all need to access them somewhat. When we have all three of these levels, it is then that we can get the true good reward from Hashem – the complete bond with Hashem, through bitachon.