48 Ways - 003 Talking Truthfully

Verbalization of Learning

The third kinyan (acquirement) to acquire the Torah is called “arichas sefasayim”, to enunciate the words of Torah with one’s of lips as one is learning. The simple meaning of this is that a person has to verbalize his learning.

A person mainly connects to Hashem though his heart, and not through his mouth. Why, then, does the Mishnah list verbalization as a kinyan for Torah?

Chazal say that a person must verbalize his learning, and then the Torah is considered like “life” to him.  A person has a mitzvah to speak in words of Torah – “V’dibarta bam”, “And you shall speak in it.” Why does a person have a mitzvah to “speak” words of Torah, though? Isn’t it enough to ‘think in learning’, to mentally think into the words of the Torah?

The Depth Behind Verbalization of Torah Learning

There is a debate in halachah if a person gets the mitzvah of learning Torah just by thinking in learning; speaking words of Torah, then, is the main kind of learning. But why, indeed, is speaking words of Torah considered more important than thinking in it?

It is written, “Kiss me with the kisses of Your mouth.” What does this mean? It means that when we speak words of Torah, we are being “kissed” by the lips of Hashem, so to speak. The strongest relationship is a relationship with Hashem that is peh el peh, “mouth to mouth”. Thus, speaking in Torah with our mouths is like having a “peh el peh” relationship with Hashem.

The Tiferes Yisrael says a novel concept: that if someone pronounces the words of Dovid Hamelech in Tehillim with concentration, it is as if Dovid Hamelech himself is teaching the person. We see here the power of verbalization.

“The lips of the righteous move in the grave.” This is because when a person learns the words of a tzaddik, he is connecting to the tzaddik through his mouth, and that is why the lips of the righteous deceased ones move in the grave, when their words are studied and verbalized by those who learn them.

When a person speaks words of Torah, sometimes it can be a total connection to his learning, and sometimes it isn’t. Moshe Rabbeinu at first was hard of speech (“aral sefasayim”), but then later he was healed. Speech used to be his weakest point, but later, he merited the highest level of speech – he spoke “peh el peh” with Hashem.

Let us now try to make this concept practical.

Speaking Clearly

What exactly is the kinyan of “arichas sefasayim”?

There are two kinds of speech. One kind of speech is identified in our holy sefarim as “areivus” – “sweetness”, which is when a person has an easy time talking.  The other kind of speech is called “arichus” – “enunciated” speech.

What does it mean to have “enunciated” speech, “arichas sefasayim”? The sefer Midrash Shmuel says that “arichus” is when one speaks clearly. In order to learn Torah, a person has to speak words that are clear. 

However, this sounds more like a way to learn Torah, not a way to acquire the Torah. So why is “arichas sefasayim” considered a way to “acquire” the Torah?

It is because in order to speak clear words of Torah, your thoughts have to be clear in it in the first place. When a person isn’t so sure about something, he has a hard time explaining it clearly. When a person is sure and clear about what he’s learning, he can explain it clearly. So “arichas sefasayim” is not just about how to learn Torah – it is that a person should make sure he is clear in the first place.

One of the Sages said, “You see a clear world.” We need to gain clarity in matters of Torah, and then we will find that we can speak it out clearly to others.

Watching Your Mouth

On Shabbos, a person must also speak matters of holiness, and it is forbidden to speak mundane matters. During the week, a person can speak mundane matters, and this kind of speech has in it mixed words that aren’t holy, which takes away from the clarity of one’s speech. If a person only speaks holiness, he will be “kissed with the kisses of Your mouth”, but if he speaks mundane matters with the same mouth, such a mouth will not merit to be ‘kissed’ by Hashem.

It is forbidden to speak devarim betailim, idle speech. Since one has to use his mouth to speak words of Torah, he must protect his mouth from speaking about mundane matters, because this will prevent his mouth from connecting to Hashem.

It is not by chance that Hashem spoke with the Jewish people “peh-el-peh”, mouth-to-mouth. In order to receive Torah, you need to have a “mouth-to-mouth” connection with Hashem. That is why “arichas sefasayim” is one of the 48 qualities to acquire the Torah.

This is also the depth of why it is forbidden to speak lashon hora. When a person speaks lashon hora, his very lashon (tongue) becomes evil. He ruins his mouth in speaking lashon hora; can the same mouth which spoke lashon hora come and speak now with Hashem in Tefillah…?

That is the depth of arichas sefasayim. It is to have a clean mouth.

Arichas sefasayim means both for a person to be clear about what he is learning (and thus he comes to explain it clearly), as well as for one to make sure his mouth is clean from improper speech.

Defining Idle Chatter

Maybe you will ask: If so, how is it possible to ever talk normally? If we have to avoid idle chatter, how can we ever have a normal conversation? We are not angels, after all!

Of course we are human beings, and we need to have conversations. But we need to have the right kinds of conversations with others.

There are pointless conversations, which are called “divrei chullin” (mundane speech). Some conversations are chullin (mundane), and some are not. “Chullin” comes from the word “chalal” – “empty”. When a person speaks empty words -- conversations that have no value   -- he is speaking “divrei chullin”.

On a deeper note, when a person speaks words that don’t amount to anything – that is “divrei chullin”.

When a person speaks with another person and he connects to him, he fulfills the purpose of talking, because the purpose of talking is so we can connect to others. But when a person just chats with someone with no intention of forming a connection to him, such talking is “divrei chullin” – it is pointless talking.

Even if a person is saying Tehillim, if he isn’t connecting to what he is saying, it can be said of him that he is just talking “divrei chullin”. If a person is saying in Tehillim the words “My soul yearns” and he doesn’t really yearn for Hashem, he is just saying words that don’t amount to anything. He is speaking “divrei chullin”.

There are many kinds of evil talking. There is lashon hora, gossip, which causes strife between people. There are empty conversations with others, which is another kind of evil talking. Then there is another kind of pointless talking – when a person says words that don’t amount to anything. If a person talks to Hashem but he doesn’t mean what he says – he isn’t connected to the words he is saying – such speech is also a kind of pointless talking.

The Ramban says to think before you talk, or else it will be “divrei chullin”. If someone doesn’t think before he talks, his talking is empty.

Speaking From Our Heart

So far, we have spoken about idle speech in relation to others, as well as in relation to Hashem when a person davens.  But there is another example of pointless speech.

If a person tells his child, “I love you”, and he just says the words without any thought whatsoever, such talking can also be “divrei chullin” – if he’s just saying it to his child so that the child will behave better. Saying “I love you” to your child has to come from your heart, or else it’s meaningless. If you say it from your heart, it is a real kind of speech, but if you’re just saying it to your child because you need him\her to do something for you, it’s a pointless kind of speech.

When a person speaks, how is he aware of this? Is this because he knows that he has vocal chords…? Are the words coming from careful thought beforehand - which come from his heart – or are the words just coming from his mouth?

Speaking words of Torah, or davening, or about other holy matters, is called the speech of “arichas sefasayim”, because here one is extending these words into his heart.

Why We Must Speak Words of Torah

Let’s return the question we began with. Why must one verbalize his learning? Why isn’t it enough to think in learning?

Man is called “nefesh chayah”, and Targum Onkelos says this means “ruach memalelah”, a “talking spirit”. The essence of a person’s life is to talk, and talking connects us to life, because through talking to others, we connect to others and receive vitality. Only through talking the words of Torah can you receive vitality from it.

Talking Must Stem From The Heart

We are saying that there is another kind of empty talking: when one’s speech does not emanate from his heart.

Chazal say that “Words that come from the heart enter the heart.” If a person speaks to another but the words don’t enter the other, it must be that such talking is empty talking. Real talking is when it comes from the heart and enters another person’s heart; otherwise, it is empty talking.

If a person is speaking words of Torah and they really come from his heart, the words are full of life, and then they can enter someone else. If he is speaking words of Torah to another but his words aren’t full of life, they don’t come from the heart, and  they will not be able to enter someone else’s heart.

Our words of Torah have to be full of life; the Torah is called Toras Chaim, a “Torah of life”. If our words of Torah are not full of life to someone, then such talking resembles the chirping of birds, which isn’t real talking.

The kinyan of “arichas sefasayim” thus includes that a person needs to have a source of vitality in his life. If your words are to be full of life, they have to be coming from a source of life in you.

Just like your mouth gives you more life when you eat and drink to keep yourself nourished, so is your mouth able to give life to others. Words that aren’t full of life in them are not considered words, just empty talk.

There were a few tzaddikim who merited to die through misas neshikah, the “kiss of Hashem”. What is the “kiss of Hashem”? It is when the soul leaves the body, because it kisses and embraces the higher realm of spirituality.

But there is also a way to have a “life” of neshikah – when a person speaks words full of life, he merits to “kiss” the world of spirituality.

It is written, “And one who speaks truth in his heart.” This is when a person says something that is in line with his heart.

The Torah is called Toras Emes (Torah of truth), and it is also called Toras Chaim. When a person speaks truthfully, his words have life to them. But when a person speaks words that aren’t truthful – in other words, when his heart isn’t connected to what he says – then his words aren’t either alive.

If a person gets used to talking more from his heart – to connect his heart to what he says and thinks – this is how a person can have the quality of “arichas sefasayim”.

Speaking Truthful Words

Some people are used to “lying for the sake of Heaven.” But this behavior, even when a person means to lie only for the sake of Heaven, is still a kind of speech which has no life in it. Chazal say that it is permitted to lie for the sake of peace, but if a person does this all the time, his speech is still missing life to it, because it isn’t the truth. It might be sometimes permitted to lie, but that still doesn’t make it the truth.

“Arichas sefasayim” is thus to connect your heart to what you say, and not just to physically enunciate the words. It is to live what you say.

That is why a person has a mitzvah to speak in words of Torah – it is because a person has to live the words of Torah he says.