Getting to Know Your Inner World - 002 Layers of the Soul

The Structure of the Soul

In the previous chapter it was explained that one has to know and recognize his soul, both for self-knowledge as well as for recognition of the Creator. In previous volumes^[1], we explained the general structure of the soul, beginning from the highest point in our soul all the way down to the lowest part of the soul.

We first described the innermost point of the soul, which is the recognition of one’s existence (havayah). Then we described the faculties in the soul below one’s essence; there are higher faculties and lower faculties. The higher faculties of the soul are: Emunah (“faith”), Ta’anug (pleasure) and Ratzon (will). Lower than these is our mochin (the mind), which has in it the faculties of Chochmah, Binah and Daas.

The power of speech is lower than those abilities, and lower than this are the emotions, which are: ahavah (love), yirah (fear), hispaarus (pride), nitzachon (victory), hodayah (gratitude), hiskashrus (connection) and shiflus (lowliness). The lowest part of the soul is the actions of a person, which is the outermost part of the human makeup.

Each part of the soul is a world to itself, comprised of endless details. We need to learn about each part of the soul and recognize it, as we explained in the previous chapter. We have so far given the general description of the human persona.

The Lowest Level: Imagination

However, there is also an even lower level even than the actions, and this is when a person is living life through the prism of his imagination.

We will explain more about the imagination in the coming chapters, but to give a brief description, imagination puts a person in a sleeplike kind of existence. When a person goes to sleep, he is almost totally taken over by imagination. When a person gets up from his sleep, his body might be awake, but his heart might still be asleep! Imagination can still be controlling him no less than when he’s physically asleep, if not more so. Without working to uproot it, imagination can make a person’s life into one big, fantasy-like kind of existence.

In our generation especially, which is the generation that immediately precedes Moshiach, many people are kind of asleep in their hearts. People have fallen from what a human being really is supposed to look like – the tzuras adam hashaleim (the ideal, perfected way of how a person is supposed to look) and are just live a fantasy-like kind of existence.

On a deeper level, this is the realization of the exile of Edom, which is the current exile; Edom is from the word dimayon, which means “imagination”. The exile of Edom which we are in is really an exile imposed on us due to the effects of imagination on us!

There are a few people whose hearts are awake to the reality of Hashem and are in touch with Him, and they live their lives with holiness, separated from worldly matters. These people have merited to leave the fantasy kind of life and have entered into the real way that a person is supposed to look like. They are living the true kind of reality.

Action-Oriented People Still Haven’t Uncovered Reality

Hashem created man as a soul inside a body. It is a wonder that the soul and body live together, which is what we bless Hashem with in the “Asher Yatzar” blessing –“mafli laasos”. The natural state of affairs in the word is that a person’s soul is hidden from him, and the body has a hold on the person. As a result, a person has a natural pull to deal more with action than to enter into the spiritual dimension in things.

Even a person who has left the imagination and has begun to look how a person is supposed to look like is still only involved in actions; even if a person only does holy actions and does everything in line with Torah and the Halachah, he is still only involved in actions, which is the lowest part of the soul.

It is better than just being at the level of imagination, of course, because imagination is the lowest kind of existence there is, while the actions that a person does are at least within the realm of the soul. But it is still not the ideal situation, because when people are only involved in action, they are still only accessing the lowest part of their soul.

The Level of Your Existence

When a person only has the right actions, but he hasn’t yet entered deeper into his soul, everything he sees is just a “world of action”. He sees everything in terms of “action”, and while he does act correctly, he is only accessing the lowest part of the soul: action.

There is a saying in the name of Reb Yisrael Salanter zt”l that every worker sees his job in everything he does: a shoemaker sees shoes in everything, and a tailor sees clothing in everything. In other words, a person perceives reality according to his situation. Such a perception is a limited understanding of life, because the person never sees beyond the actions he’s fond about.

Even if a person has reached the higher parts of his soul, he still doesn’t see beyond that perspective he’s at. A person sees everything from whatever level of his soul he has accessed, and not beyond that.

For example, if a person has reached his power of thought, he sees everything in reality through his thoughts, but not more than that.[2] And if a person has accessed his feelings (which are lower than the thoughts), all he sees are the feelings in something.[3] If a person is at the level of imagination, which is the lowest level – all he sees is fantasies. He doesn’t grasp reality at all.

Let us go back to discussing the situation of most people, who are at the level of the action. If a person only lives in a “world of action”, all he sees is action. His entire attitude toward learning Torah is all about what will come out of it in the practical sense – he learns Torah, but only to “learn in order to do.” He does all the mitzvos, but there is no inner meaning to anything he does. When he wants to do teshuvah, he’ll take on resolutions – things he can “do” to change how he acts. He’s only focused on “doing”.

Even when he hears about a concept that involves deeper aspects than actions (such as faith, pleasure, will, speech, feelings, or thoughts), he only perceives the concept in terms of action. To him, the only thing he takes out of anything is “tips” on how to make everything practical in his life; everything by him gets translated into an action, and if he doesn’t see how something can be carried out practically, he sees no point in it.

We can give an example of this. Let’s say an action-person comes across the well-known statement of Chazal^[4], that “Torah is great, for it brings one to actions.” He is also aware of the letter of the Ramban, who wrote that when a person gets up from his sefer, he should think about how to make practical what he has learned. The action-person perceives these matters as proof that the main thing on this world is just to “act”. Since he understands everything in terms of how practical it can be, he is apt to view learning Torah as something you “do”, and besides for that, he sees no other reason to learn. After all, he thinks, the whole point of learning is to “act”; he’s thinking, if I’m not going to come out with something practical from this, why should I learn Torah?

Of course, we are not saying that one shouldn’t act upon his learning. We must act upon what we learn, and if we don’t, we are not in touch with reality.

But a person has to also understand the other side of the coin: action is not everything. Learning Torah is not entirely about action. If a person thinks that learning is only about acting upon what you learn, he is imprisoning himself in a mentally-imposed jail, because such an attitude makes him limited and trapped in the world of actions. He won’t be able to see beyond action, and he definitely will not be able to understand anything about the human soul and be able to enter deep into himself.

If a person has overcome his negative imaginations and fantasies, and he is doing the right kind of actions - actions that are in line with Torah and the Halacha - that is of course a great accomplishment. He has left the exile of imagination and is living in reality. But it is not enough. When a person is only living for actions, he is limited to the actions, and he looks at everything in life in terms of action, not more than that.

This is the root deterrent for most people who are seeking to serve the Creator: they are only living for action. Most people only want to see how something can be practically applied (“l’maaseh); people are learning Torah and involving themselves in Avodas Hashem (serving the Creator), but they are only interested in the actions contained in this.

Learning Torah on such a level is not learning to learn, but just to “do” the acts that come from it. Avodas Hashem on such a level is not about working hard at serving Hashem, but just about what to do in the practical sense. When people want to do Avodas Hashem in this way, they remove themselves from real Avodas Hashem – they don’t have the true, inner perspective.

As we mentioned before, this does not only apply to those who are only concerned about how to act correctly in life. Even if someone has entered deeper into himself and knows what the deep feelings and middos are – and he doesn’t know beyond that – then he only sees everything in terms of feelings. His perception of reality is still limited to his emotions; he won’t see deeper than the emotional aspect of things. 

If a person has penetrated even deeper than this into his soul and he has uncovered his faculty of speech, if this is all he has reached in himself, then to him, learning Torah to him is all about “talking in learning” all the time, but not more than that. It’s better than the lower levels (actions and feelings), but he’s still limited in his perception.

And if a person has uncovered his power of thought, or if he has reached his will, or he has reached even higher into his faculty of pleasure – or even if he has reached his faculty of emunah\faith – if he can’t see beyond that, then his perception of reality is still limited to the soul level he’s at. The point is that he hasn’t yet uncovered his essence, just the outer parts of his existence; his perception is limited to the point he is at.

However, there are definitely advantages to one who has penetrated into his soul beyond the actions. First of all, his perspective has deepened, and he has also gained the ability to leave one faculty of the soul and enter into a whole different part of himself. This, in and of itself, makes it possible for him to enter one’s inner mission, because he has the keys to be able to enter deeper into the rest of the self.

But even though the person has gained, he is far from complete. As long as a person hasn’t yet gotten to his very essence, his perception will be limited to the level his soul is at.

Chazal say that “A judge only sees what his eyes see.” Even a judge who gives an honest in judgment is criticized in the works of Mussar for only seeing in a limited way.

Who “I” Really Am

In the beginning of this chapter, we mentioned the highest part of the soul, which is one’s very essence. This is called “havayah.” This is the actual self of a person – who “I” really am. It is the ability in a person to know he exists.

The words here are subtle and deep. The discussion here needs both intellectual acumen as well as heart sensitivity if it is to be really understood properly. If someone doesn’t understand the fundamental point we are describing, he will go through his life and never even touch reality.

“I” am the very essence of my soul. Below my existence is a power called Emunah, “faith”. This is the highest power in my soul, secondary only to my own existence. Below that is the third-to-highest power in myself, which is oneg, pleasure. Below that is my Ratzon, will power. Below that is my mind; there are three powers of thought in it (Chochmah, Binah and Daas). Below that is my power of speech. After that are my middos\emotions, and the lowest part of my self are my actions.

The soul is like the layers of an onion one on top of the other. Each faculty of the soul is just like garments that cover over the essence of who I am.

Before, we explained that a person understands everything going on around him based on the level his soul is at. If a person hasn’t recognized his very essence yet – his havayah – to be quite sharp and clear, he has no idea who he even is! He definitely does not recognize accurately what’s going on around him. His whole perception on reality is sorely missing something.

Every person has in himself a world of actions, emotions, speech, thought, desire, pleasure and faith. Anyone whose mind is thinking properly can identify these abilities in himself. But in order to begin entering our inner mission of serving the Creator, we need to realize that all the abilities in our soul are just garments that cover over our intrinsic essence.

If a person is only at the level of action, then he experiences only the outermost part of the soul, which is a superficial kind of life. He never lives his actual “I”. The same goes for the rest of one’s soul faculties. Although a person lives a truer kind of life with the deeper levels he uncovers in his soul, if he hasn’t yet reached his actual essence, he never experiences himself! He only experiences life through the garments of his soul. There is no greater imprisonment than this.

A person who hasn’t yet revealed his essence doesn’t realize his poor sense of self-recognition. If has reached his faculty of Ratzon, he identifies himself as someone who is able to “want” things. If he has reached his faculty of oneg, he looks at himself as “someone who knows how to have pleasure.” If he has reached his faculty of Emunah, he identifies his “I” as a “believer.” Whatever level he is at, he thinks that this is all there is to his existence. He never realizes his true existence, and he doesn’t know how to differentiate between the garments of his soul and the essence of his soul.

There are people who shudder to think what will be if they have to give up their pleasures, or what they want, or what they think about out. This is because they identify their “I” as either pleasure, or willpower, or thoughts, etc. and thus the thought of nullifying any of these abilities is too scary to think about; such a person is not ready to nullify these garments of the soul, because he feels like he is nullifying his very “I”.

There are even people who are sadistic and want to hurt themselves, so they feel that by cutting off their pleasure or their desires (or whichever garment of the soul they identify their “I” with) that they will kill themselves.  People might hurt others with the same mentality, thinking, “If I ruin his pleasure or I take away his willpower, I will hurt “him.” The person wants to hurt the other person, so he feels that by hurting the others’ garments, he has hurt “him.” What the person doesn’t understand is that you can’t destroy another person’s essence (or your own).

A person has to understand the structure of his soul and work with it. But the first point of our inner work begins with this – that a person must realize that there is an “I” over here. First, a person has to reveal his essence – the fact that he exists. He must realize that this is his true “I.” Only after working on this should a person become more aware of what he does, what he feels, what he says and what he thinks, and so forth.

The understanding of this point is very fundamental to all of one’s inner work. Your havayah is who you actually are. The rest of your soul’s abilities – all the way from your Emunah\faith down to your actions – are just garments that cover over your essence.

The End Is Part of the Beginning

But in order to begin our inner work, it is not enough to know this intellectually. The proper attitude to have at the onset of our mission is to have the “end of the actions already planned out in the thoughts” (sof maaseh b’machshavah techilah).

Someone who only lives for actions will understand all that we are saying here only in terms of how practical it affects him. Simply speaking, thoughts are supposed to precede what we do in order for us to act properly. This is true, but there is a deeper understanding of what it means that “the end of the actions are already planned in the thoughts.”

Maaseh, action, comes from the word asiyah, which is to “do”. This we all know. But it can also mean “completed.” The “end of the actions” means a complete action – a perfected action. The possuk states that on Shabbos, Hashem rested from all that He was doing.  The Midrash says that the world was missing Shabbos, and when Shabbos came into existence, the world came to its serenity.  Shabbos was the completion of the universe – it was the completion of all actions.

In other words, “maaseh” is the beginning of everything, but it is also the goal and completion of something. The superficial understanding of maaseh is that an action is needed to complete something that is missing. But the higher definition of maaseh is that even when nothing is lacking, maaseh is needed to make it perfect.

We are not saying that the simple understanding of maaseh is incorrect; if someone thinks otherwise, he’s denying the Torah. We have to keep the Torah in the simple sense and do all the mitzvos. Doing the mitzvos is the basic and necessary step in serving Hashem. If someone doesn’t do the mitzvos, he is disconnected from reality.

But, we must understand that doing all the mitzvos is not everything. Serving Hashem does not end with just action. There are realms beyond the actions we must do.

There is a kind of “sof maaseh b’machshavah techilah,” and that is when a person is involved in thought in order to know how to act and do the mitzvos properly. Then there is another way to utilize our thoughts – when we use our thoughts in order to arrive at perfected actions. In other words, there is a way for how the “end” goal can already be worked on at the very beginning of one’s inner work.

In the previous chapter it was explained at length that the purpose of our life’s mission is to recognize the Creator and connect with Him. We are not speaking about this right now; right now, we are speaking about recognizing our soul just in order to know our soul. The goal of knowing about our soul is to come to recognize and live our innermost point of the soul, which is havayah – one’s very essence. After that, we can begin to ascend the ladder of growth and come to recognize the Ultimate Essence – the Blessed One; and to connect to Him.

But, it is obvious that we cannot get to the “end of actions” – our havayah – unless we first have carefully planned thought beforehand. Although we cannot perfectly reach our havayah at our initial stage, we must try to reveal it somewhat now, so that this way, we at least are thinking about it beforehand. We need to at least touch our essence a little. This is so that we can have some idea of where we are heading towards.

The Garden-Maze

The Mesillas Yesharim says that life is like an intricate garden-maze, in which there are many winding paths that all lead up to the middle; when a person is inside the maze, it is impossible for him to navigate his way around without getting lost, but if someone is standing on top of the maze and seeing everything from above, he can direct the traveler where to go, because he sees all the paths from above.

There is an even deeper meaning to this. The goal of the maze is to get to the middle of all where all the paths lead to; if this goal isn’t clear from the start, then a person might think that the point of the maze is to just stay in the maze and get to know it well, missing the goal.

In addition to that, the Mesilas Yesharim is also advising one who is traveling through the garden maze that he should listen to the person standing on top of the maze who is telling him how to get out. The person standing on top of the maze has a clear view of the maze, and he’s not stuck inside the confusing maze – he’s above it and living in a whole different kind of world.

The point of this lesson with the garden-maze is to show us that a person has to get out of from being stuck in the maze of life, and learn how to view things from above the confusion. Although this cannot be done perfectly at the start, since it is the end goal, a person should still be aware of the end goal already at the beginning. He should try to navigate through the maze of life in a way that he isn’t totally confused.

But someone who doesn’t listen to the advice of the Mesillas Yesharim thinks that the goal is to get to know the garden. Even if he listens to the one standing on top of the maze, he is only listening to him to get out of the confusion, but not because he wants to acquire the higher viewpoint.

The faculties of our soul are like a garden-maze. Entering them is like entering a maze. The view from above the maze is the faculty of havayah, which is our essence. When a person reveals his essence at least a little bit from the start, he is clarifying his soul through his essence, and even if he has only at the level of just the garments of the soul and he hasn’t yet fully reached his essence, his essence is at least joining him throughout his journey toward growth and development of the rest of his soul. (This is only true if he begins to touch his essence at least a little from the start. Soon, we will see how one can do this).

Furthermore, he gains with this in that his goal is to reveal his essence more and more. As we explained before, the goal here is to reveal one’s essence in the most complete way. This can only be done when a person had such an intention to start out with.

If a person hasn’t felt his essence at least somewhat from the start, he is navigating his way through endless paths. He will be very confused in Avodas Hashem. But if someone has begun to touch his essence a little from the start, he can see the goal – “the end of the actions” – already in the beginning. He realizes that the abilities in his soul are just garments of the soul, and the only w ay to work with the garments of the soul is to use havayah. He knows that the goal is come to reach his perfected havayah.

A True Outlook on Reality

We have said that if a person hasn’t yet uncovered his essence, everything he sees in his reality is limited to the soul level he is at. If all he knows of is actions, then he sees everything from the perspective of action. If all he knows of is middos\emotions, then he sees everything in terms of middos. The same goes for the rest of the garments of the soul.

But all these perspectives are not the true outlook on reality. At best, they are ways how to view the garments of the soul, but they are not enough to help one understand what’s going on in reality.

There is only one place in the soul which has the proper outlook on things – the view from one’s havayah. From this viewpoint, a person can see himself entering his own personal confusing garden-maze: the many paths in it, which are the soul faculties, and the goal of all the paths, which is to arrive at his perfected essence. From this viewpoint, he can see his actions, feelings, speech, thoughts, ratzon, oneg, or Emunah all from the viewpoint of his “I”. He reveals a new world – a whole different kind of outlook on things. He can see reality as it is.

When a person reveals his real “I”, he uncovers a whole new set of faculties in the soul, which he never saw until now. “Great is your faith.”^[5] The faculty of Emunah which he uncovers will have a whole new depth and clarity to it, and will receive a whole new kind of vitality, like a revival of the dead. The same goes for the rest of the soul faculties: when a person begins to uncover his essence, the rest of his soul faculties take on a whole new meaning.

But, as we explained before, beginning to reveal your essence is still not a total connection to your essence. It is more like an aspiration for a lofty goal. “A person has to say, “When will my actions reach the actions of my fathers?” The person isn’t yet at the level of the perfected “I”.

But when a person goes deeper and deeper into his soul and uncovers more and more – from the lowest part of the soul all the way until the highest part of the soul – together with a partial recognition of his essence – he can finally reach his essence. He will have a true self-revelation, and he will be able to see reality from his actual essence.

The “Inner Light” and the “Surrounding Light”

We can give another way of defining the concept.

Generally speaking, there are two ways how to see something. One way is to see it from the inside, and the other way is to see it from the outside. When we see something from the inside of a matter, this is called ohr penimi (inner light), and when we see something from the outside, this is called ohr makif (surrounding light).

In the ohr makif itself, there is a lower view and a higher view. Thus, altogether there are really three kinds of viewpoints.

The view from the lower kind of ohr makif can have a gain over the view from the ohr penimi, because the ohr makif can see beyond the limits of something and thus see more, even something which the ohr penimi can’t see.

On the other hand, the view of the ohr penimi has an advantage over the view of the ohr makif, because the ohr penimi can grasp a concept better; compare this to someone inside a house, and he can see everything that’s going on inside his house. The lower ohr makif can’t see what’s going on inside; “From afar Hashem appears to me.”^[6] Someone standing outside a house can’t see what’s going on inside the house.

But there is a third kind of view, and that is the upper kind of ohr makif. Its viewpoint has the most advantages. The lower ohr makif can’t grasp the inner meaning of a matter, while the ohr penimi is trapped inside a matter and can’t see beyond it. It doesn’t see the full scope of a matter, and it definitely cannot see beyond the matter.

But the higher ohr makif can see a matter if it had already been there, like a person who enters a house, sees what’s inside it, and then stands on the outside and now looks at the house. Now when he’s looking at the house, he knows what’s inside it, because he’s been inside before.

When a person is only in the realm of action, he sees everything in terms of action. He can understand actions; he has the view from the ohr penimi. But his vision is still very limited; he can’t see beyond action.

But if he has ascended to the level in his soul beyond the actions, which is the feelings, he can then view his actions from the view above the actions, which are the feelings. If he has ascended to the level of speech, he can look down at his feelings and actions from a view above them. This is a view of the lower ohr makif. But his view still isn’t complete, because if he is looking at his feelings, all he sees are feelings. 

But when has the viewpoint from his essence, he reaches the higher ohr makif, which can see everything as it really is. Even when that view hasn’t become perfected yet (because the person is still only at the beginning stage, as we said), it is still the best viewpoint available.

“Hashem looked into the Torah and created the world”

The real secret of all Avodas Hashem is to realize that all of our Avodah is essentially a “viewpoint”: how our essence views something in life.

The Zohar states that Hashem looked into the Torah and created the world. This shows that all of Creation is directed by Hashem’s viewpoint, which is the Torah. In the previous chapter, we explained how a person was created in a Heavenly image, and this is to remind him that he must learn how to connect to the Creator. In order to have this connection, a person needs to be connected to the “viewpoint” of Hashem.

Without a doubt, a person who hasn’t yet perfected the lower levels of his soul (actions, feelings, etc.) doesn’t have the true viewpoint on things. The more a person improves himself, the more accurate his viewpoint becomes.

How can a person know if he has improved himself?

He can know this by seeing how clear his viewpoint on things are. When a person doesn’t see things with clarity, he can know that it’s a sign he hasn’t yet fixed the lower parts of his soul, and his Avodas Hashem is sorely lacking. When a person notices that his view on things has become much clearer, it must be that he has improved himself.

But even if a person has improved himself and he has a clearer outlook on life, he’s still not at the end goal yet. This is because until one has perfected his essence, it’s not possible to see reality perfectly. Until one perfects his essence, his outlook on things is only partial and limited. It is only when a person has the ultimate self-revelation that he can see everything in the way Hashem really created it. He will be able to understand then that all Avodas Hashem is essentially a viewpoint on life, and that it is his essence which views things.

If a person wants to get from Jerusalem to Tzefas, he has to keep his eye on the road so he can know where he’s heading to. He is only making use of his viewpoint as a tool to get to his goal. But the view from one’s essence is not like that. The view from one’s essence sees how everything we understand in reality is only a viewpoint.

The prophets were able to see reality as it really is; today, there is no prophecy. But our job is to reveal our essence, and from there we will be able to view the essence of each thing. When we gain the view from our essence, then the rest of our soul faculties (all the way from our actions up to our Emunah\faith) will look totally different. We will be able to view everything with a truer outlook – through the lens of our essence.

The changes that this will bring to a person are astounding. It will feel like converting to Judaism – a feeling of being born anew. It resembles the change of this 6,000 year world that will take place in the future, when we will enter Olam Haba (the Next World). It is actually the preparation toward Olam HaBa – as we know that the “parable” (moshol) always brings one to the “lesson” (nimshal).

In Conclusion

Usually, when we want to work on our soul, we must begin with the simple understanding of the end goal, which is by realizing that we are trying to improve ourselves. With the simple understanding, the attitude is that we are sorely lacking in our actions, and we need to fix up our actions.

But there is a higher goal we must have in mind as well from the start, and that is that to have the end goal already being put into some practice, even at the start. “Sof maaseh b’machshava techilah.” Since the end goal is to uncover our essence, we should begin to touch our essence a little, already when we start. This was explained before (and in the next chapter, we will explain how we can do it).

Know that the words here are not merely intellectual matters; they need heart sensitivity as well. The more a person purifies his heart, the more siyata d’shmaya (Heavenly assistance) he receives to understand these matters properly and internalize them, until these words become a part of him.

May the Creator merit us to continue further and learn how to reach our essence – how to view things from that deep place in our self, in a way that all of our Avodas Hashem will change drastically.