Nefesh haChayim Gate 1 - 007 Intrinsic Good of Man

 נפש החיים 007 שער א פרק ו

1] The Nefesh HaChaim [Shaar 1 Perek 6] writes that before the sin, man only contained good in himself, and although man had free will to choose between good and evil, evil only existed as some outer force. After the sin, evil entered man, and now man is contains a mixture of good and evil in him, and he has to choose between the good and evil found within him.

Ever since the sin of Adam, the world has become a mixture of good and evil, and our avodah is to constantly sift out the good from the evil. This is not a punishment placed upon mankind – rather, it is the automatic result of sin. It’s like when a person eats poison; he won’t die from it as a punishment, but rather, because that’s what happens to people that eat poison. It’s a reality; it’s not a punishment.

This is the way we can understand how death came to the world as a result of sin; it was not a punishment. Sin is like poison; choosing to sin was essentially like choosing to eat poison, which automatically results in death. In the same vein, Chazal say that if a person learns Torah and he doesn’t merit, his Torah learning turns into poison. How can one’s Torah learning turn into poison?! How can this be? The holy Torah that a person learns can turn into poison? How are we to understand such a thing??

The answer to this is that it’s all a result from Adam’s sin with the Eitz HaDaas. Ever since Adam ate from the Eitz HaDaas, everything contains a mixture of good and evil, even our Torah learning. Therefore, when a person doesn’t learn Torah with the right intentions [like when he doesn’t have any fear of Hashem], he is left with only the evil contained in his Torah learning, and thus his Torah learning can turn into poison.

2] The Nefesh HaChaim writes that after Adam sinned, evil now entered man and became a part of him.

Of what difference does it make to us if evil is outside of ourselves or if it enters within us? Either way, evil exists. What is the difference if evil is outside of us or if it’s inside us? The Nefesh HaChaim explains that when a person sins, he feels like he himself is committing it. He doesn’t think that evil is having a pull on him; rather, he thinks that his essence has become evil, when he sins.

Ever since the sin of Adam, there are two kinds of evil which people choose. Either a person views evil as being a part of himself, and thus he comes to sin; or he chooses to follow an evil pull outside of himself.

The very fact that a person thinks “I” am doing something bad when “I” sin is a result of eating from the Eitz HaDaas. The Chovos HaLevovos writes that the evil inclination is enmeshed inside a person and convinces him to choose evil. But if a person would realize that evil is not part of his actual essence, he would be able to push away his evil inclination! When people sin, it must be because they have a poor sense of self-worth; they identify evil inclination as part of their “I”.

What is our true “I”? Our true “I” is to do the will of Hashem; “Our will is to do Your will.” Our true will is intrinsically good.

Before the sin, man only had a will to do good, to do Hashem’s will. Although we are currently after the sin and evil desires have entered us, we can still reach the level of Adam before the sin; but only few people reach this.

There are many people who have low self-esteem when it comes to serving Hashem. They say, “I’m worthless”, or “I’m an arrogant person”, or “I’m a glutton.” They associate their evil traits with their very “I”. They see evil in themselves, and they come to feel that their “I” is evil. This is the terrible mistake of the generation.

Now that everything today has become a mixture of good and evil – due to the sin of Adam – how indeed can we sift out the good from the evil? The only way is through Torah. A person has to see his “I” as a part of the Torah, as opposed to thinking that his “I” is part of his evil inclination! Our entire life is about “Who am I”, to clarify to ourselves who we truly are. We must clarify what our “I” is – we must realize that our I” is inherently good, and only then are we able to truly understand the Torah.

When we exert ourselves in learning Torah, the purpose is not so that we just “know” more and more Torah. What we should strive for is to understand the true knowledge of the Torah – the daas of the Torah. Of course, we must certainly know all of the facts we learn about in Torah, such as the laws of Choshen Mishpat. Our knowledge in Torah is certainly a part of our daas. But just knowing the information of the Torah is not yet the daas of the Torah; yedios (knowledge\information) isn’t yet daas. When we succeed in using our knowledge about Torah to gain a clearer view on life, we then arrive at the daas of the Torah; our knowledge then becomes daas.

We must do what Hashem wants, but the attitude should not be that we have to simply want what Hashem wants. We should want what Hashem wants because that is what we ourselves should want.

For example, when a person learns Torah and exerts himself in its study, he should realize that he’s really getting in touch with himself, because Torah is our very self. The sugya you are learning in the Gemara is you!

It’s not that we are learning the words of the Rashba and the Ketzos and that we have a chavrusa; when we learn the words of the Rashba, we have to realize that the words of the Rashba is where we can find ourselves. So learning the words of the Rashba is not about “learning the words of the Rashba”, but rather, learning the words of the Rashba is how you are getting involved with your true self.

So when a person learns Torah, he should not think that he is a separate entity from the Torah. Rather, one has to think that “I” am a part of the Torah.

This is really the depth behind our free will. When we choose to act good, it is really about how we view our “I”. When we fight our evil desires of the yetzer hora (evil inclination), it’s not that our “I” is fighting with our “I”; you can’t fight your very “I.” Rather, your “I” is fighting the evil, and the evil is on the outside of your “I”.

Our entire avodah - our entire life – is really about clarifying to ourselves, each on a personal level, what our “I” is – to realize that our “I” is not evil.