Search for Serenity - 005 Calming Your Thoughts

Get Used To Thinking More

Using the mind to think is the best way to stabilize  emotions, but the problem is that for most people, it’s difficult to concentrate effectively.

A person’s thoughts wander around and ruin one’s concentration, which ruins a person’s menuchas hanefesh. For someone already connected to the world of thought, it’s easy to concentrate. However, for one who isn’t connected to the world of thought, it’s challenging to focus.

Rav Chaim Friedlander zt”l suggested that a person should get used to concentrating on one single thought for just five minutes a day, as this will get one used to thinking more and leaving his  myriad emotions.

Weakening The Imagination

Another solution that can stabilize one’s emotions is to weaken one’s imagination. Usually a person imagines things and this holds him back from concentrating.  Hence, the solution is to weaken the imagination.

On the other hand, many times a person just can’t stay focused, and it has nothing to do with imagination. What, then, is the solution for one who can’t focus?

Hesech HaDaas

Hesech hadaas is when a person takes his mind off of what is distracting him in order to stay focused.   This solution is not always practical because the person may be very involved in what he is thinking.  Therefore, it becomes extremely difficult to pull oneself from those thoughts to focus on something else.

Choosing What You Want To Think

There is a deeper solution that is to give up one’s will to think the unwanted thoughts. The only way one is able to think other thoughts and not concentrate is because he really wants to think those thoughts. By uprooting the problem from its root – by nullifying his will to think those thoughts – he no longer wants to think other distracting thoughts.

However, only a few individuals are able to give up what they want. This can be very difficult for certain people to implement, while relatively simple for others to do.

How can a person achieve this practice of giving up a thought?

He should think: “Yes, I want to think these thoughts, but I know that I really shouldn’t want to think them. Therefore, I want that to stop thinking these thoughts." This can only work for one who is practiced in self-control. It is a very good solution, but it can be very tough to implement, as we said.

Thinking Torah Thoughts

The most practical solution to use the mind to stabilize emotions  is to become connected to thinking. How can a person connect to his thinking? The best way is through thinking thoughts of Torah – “thinking in learning.” Wherever a person goes, he should train himself to think in learning.

When a person lacks menuchas hanefesh, not only does he lack menuchas hanefesh, but he’s also not connected to the Torah.  He’s not connected to a world of thought. If he would have menuchas hanefesh, he would naturally be thinking in learning all the time.

Women will have to find a different solution to get menuchas hanefesh (which we will mention later). The solution here is only for men, who learn Torah. Men have to become more connected to thinking Torah thoughts if they want to have menuchas hanefesh in their thoughts.

What should a person learn in the Torah? Each person needs to learn what’s appropriate for his style. Everyone has their own unique style in learning. It doesn’t depend on which yeshiva one learned in or what one is used to learning. One should learn Torah with an original approach that fits  his style.

The General Solution For Everyone – Original Thought

A general solution that applies to both men and women in how to attain menuchas hanefesh in thoughts is through learning different systems of thought. Anyone who has learned the mussar sefarim and other works of thought has seen how each author had his own system of thought. The Ramchal, throughout all his sefarim, forms certain concepts that he sticks to.  There is a certain system of thinking that he has, as do the Maharal, Rav Shamshon Refoel Hirsh, Rav Yisrael Salanter, and all the works of Chassidus. There are many systems of thought.

Not only when it comes to Torah should one be aware that there are different ways to think, but each person needs to have his own way of how he thinks and views a situation in life. He shouldn’t get his thinking from reading newspaper or magazine articles.  Rather, he should develop his own way to think.

The Deeper Solution – Think One Thought A Whole Day

There is another solution which is deeper than this. A person has an ability to think about just one thing for an entire day!  At first this seems like something that only an angel is capable of, but really any person can do it.

A person can take one thought and experiment focusing on it the whole day – from when you get up until you go to sleep. It can be a Torah thought, and if this is too hard, it can be something that has to do with one’s house, or one’s job. The point is to keep one thought throughout the whole day and focus on it. Continuously return to this thought throughout the course of the day.

It shouldn’t be any random thought, but a thought that personifies one’s essence. When a person keeps returning to this thought during the day, he will feel  menuchas hanefesh, because it feels like he is arriving home.

Balance Between Action and Thought

Usually, being amongst people takes away our menuchas hanefesh, because we lose our thoughts and instead become immersed in others. However, when a person attains menuchas hanefesh in his thoughts, he can be among people yet still deep in concentration.

Rav Elya Lopian zt”l said that when he is amongst people, he doesn’t even see them, because he is thinking so deeply.  One must be careful with this, as there is a danger of becoming self absorbed with this method.  One should help others when they need help., at the same time remembering not to give up one’s life for others.  This requires balance between one’s actions and one’s thoughts.

In these last three chapters, we have explained how we attain menuchas hanefesh through the three layers of our soul – action, feeling and thought. The perfect kind of action a person can do is when there is balance of feeling and thought present in the action.  These are actions that are done with both,  feelings and thoughts together.