Utilizing Your Da'as - 06 Desire For Knowledge

Desiring The Eitz HaDa’as

When Chavah ate from the fruits of the Eitz HaDa’as, she saw that it was “desirable as a means for wisdom.”  

What was so bad about this? What was wrong with the fact that Chavah desired the knowledge of the Eitz haDa’as, which was a desire to know of more holy knowledge?

The simple understanding of this is because the Eitz HaDa’as contained a mixture of both good and evil da’as, so perhaps she was curious to know what evil is. Just as a person would like to know what good is, so can there be a curiosity to know what evil is. In essence, it is a good thing to desire knowledge, but to desire knowledge about evil is detrimental.

We will explore several aspects that were involved with this, which give us a deeper understanding of the matter.

The Desire For Knowledge

Let us return to what we began to discuss.

At first, she saw that the fruit was “desirable to the eyes”, and then she found it “desirable as a means for wisdom”, that it was pleasing to her intellect. So her desire to know what it was really was, was a continuation of her eyes’ desire for it.

Chazal say that “a judge does not see except what his eyes see” – the desire for knowledge is based on what one sees, and even more so, a person is drawn to know about something based on what his eyes have seen. This is the concept of shochad, a bribe, which can sway even the mind of a tzaddik and wise person.

Thus, the desire for knowledge about the Eitz HaDa’as came after her eyes laid on it and she desired it, so there was shochad (mental bribery) involved in her desire for knowledge. It didn’t come from a desire to know truth – it came from what she felt drawn to, based on what she had seen.

Preconceived Notions When It Comes To Learning Torah

Ever since the sin with the Eitz HaDa’as, a person naturally understands something based on what he sees. For example, a person is learning a sugya or a halacha, but he has a desire based on what he has seen, so he has “shochad”. A person naturally sees a distorted understanding, and he doesn’t see truth.

Many people think they have clearly seen the halacha when they research a matter in the Gemara and then in the Shulchan Aruch, but they are really making an erroneous search, because they are not viewing the halacha through a lens of truth. The soul, ever since the sin, does not initially understand things through a truthful lens, rather through various personal motivations are leading him towards.

When a person sees two options, A and B, he will naturally desire the option he has first seen. It does not come from a search for truth, but from some desire of the eyes.

Seeking the Truth: First See Two Equal Options

How can a person indeed know what the truth is? This is an internal question which any person who seeks truth struggles with.

The Chovos HaLevovos describes “midas hishtavus”, to see things as “equal”. The Ramban says that if a person is in doubt what the halacha l’maaseh is, before he learns, he should think of two options that equally make sense, otherwise, he is beginning to learn a sugya leaning towards one of the options. If a person doesn’t begin with hishtavus, the conclusion is basically decided!

A person might think he doesn’t have “negios” (ulterior motives), but this is a mistake. Even if one is not aware of his “negios”, he can still have “negios” deep in his subconscious.

So before a person begins to learn about a matter(in Gemara or in halacha) which will be containing several opinions, first, he has to see two equal options in front of him of what the halacha is (Hashem knows what’s going in his heart if he’s really earnest about this or if he’s really leaning towards a certain option more than another), and he needs to consider them both as equal options.

This is the root of how a person can leave the viewpoint that was created from the sin of Adam.  It is called the “Eitz HaChaim in the soul”, otherwise known as the “Torah” in the soul.

Without revealing this point, a person derives his understanding from the view of the “Eitz HaDa’as Tov V’Ra” in his soul, which is a mixture of good and evil that cannot be trusted.

Therefore, in whatever a person is involved in, he needs to first remove himself from “negios”, which is by revealing “hishtavus”, equality, by first seeing two equal options, and only after should he probe into the matter of Torah he is learning about. Otherwise, he will never get to the truth. He might know a lot of Torah and halacha, but he doesn’t arrive at a truthful understanding.

Thus, a person has to get to the truthful point in the soul which has no “negios”.  This is a very clear and relevant concept for every halacha a person learns.

Without basing one’s Torah learning on this point, all of one’s Torah learning is not stemming from true da’as. Maybe people will say about him that he is “Da’as Torah”, but can all be “Da’as Torah” of the “Eitz HaDa’as Tov V’Ra”! His entire da’as is leaning towards a certain option, and not because he has seen two equal options in the first place and that he has really “decided” to go with Option A over Option B.

We have been brief in describing this concept, but it explains the secret of the soul’s power to search for truth. This concept can be further refined and made more subtle. In this point lies the entire inner work with how we use our soul. Without revealing it, nothing will be based on truth, and if something isn’t based on truth, it doesn’t last.

Thus, when the desire for knowledge is coming from desire of the eyes, there can be no truth in such desire for knowledge. It is good and evil mixed together, so it cannot be relied upon.

(Rav Elya Lopian zt”l, when he would daven for the congregation, would say the words, “V’taher libeinu l’ovdecha b’emes” (And purify our hearts to serve You in truth), and he would stress the last word, “b’emes”, in truth. This has so many applications. For example, it’s possible that a person does many acts of kindness, but it doesn’t come from a true place in his soul. A person has to always suspect himself that maybe he’s not acting truthful enough.)

All of p’nimiyus (inner reality) is based on inner truth of the soul, which is accessed through revealing “hishtavus”. When a person doesn’t access it, his entire da’as will mislead him.

There is not much da’as present in the world, and the little da’as that there is in the world, is inaccurate. There is a rare amount of da’as in the world which is accurate, for every generation merits some individuals who possess true da’as. These are people who have “nekiyus hada’as” - totally clean da’as - because they have worked on their inner refinement to a great deal.

 Why Does A Person Desire Knowledge?

Let us now return to discussing the desire for knowledge. What was wrong with Chavah’s desire to know of the Eitz HaDa’as? As we explained, it was because she first saw it and desired it, thus her desire for knowledge was entirely based on desire of the eyes.

Another point regarding this is, however, is as follows. We must know: Is the desire for knowledge, in essence, a good thing or a bad thing? It depends on why we want to know more.

After the sin of the Eitz HaDa’as, everything became a mixture of good and evil. So nowadays, when a person has a desire for knowledge, it’s unclear if it is coming from a good place within himself or not. It is either coming from the Eitz HaDa’as Tov or the Eitz HaDa’as Ra in the soul.

Before the sin, though, there was no evil yet. What then was wrong with Chavah’s desire for knowledge? All she wanted was to know more Torah. Can this be a bad thing? Isn’t a desire for knowledge of Torah always a good thing?

It depends why the person wants to know more. Most people do not have a desire for knowledge; this is the depth of the difference between a Torah scholar and an ignoramus. Torah scholars have a desire to know more Torah, while an ignoramus does not. Even an animal wants to know things, for the Vilna Gaon lists 70 forces in both humans and animals, and one of them is “chefetz Hasichli”, desire of the intellect; so even animals are somewhat curious for knowledge.

What, then, is the difference between a human’s desire for knowledge and an animal’s desire to know things? When we know the difference, we can then understand when desire for knowledge is good and when it is evil.

Desire for knowledge is good when it is a used as a path to get to a great goal. It is evil when one seeks the knowledge as a purpose to itself. In different terminology: it is good when it leads to something constructive, and it is evil when it leads to something detrimental.

Good Desire For Knowledge – When Knowledge Is A Tool To A Greater Means

Let us first begin to explain the first way to understand the difference, which is that desire for knowledge is good when it used as a means to a greater goal, and not as a purpose unto itself.

Desire for knowledge is good if it used as a means to a greater goal. It is evil when it used as a purpose unto itself. This is the “Eitz HaDa’as Tov” in the soul- the desire for knowledge as a means for a greater goal.

By contrast, if it’s a desire for knowledge just for the sake of the knowledge alone, such seichel\intellect is from the word “sochol”, “fool.” It defeats the whole purpose of knowledge.

Our Rabbis wrote that we have two “mochin” (brains\minds): a right brain and a left brain. The right eye sees through the “right brain”, and left eye sees through the “left brain”. These are two opposite lenses to see things through. The right brain sees an opposite view than the left brain, and vice versa. In other words, the desire for knowledge is viewed from one part of the brain, but when it is viewed through the lens of the eyes’ vision, the intellect becomes distorted.

Earlier, we explained that the desire for knowledge is evil when it is based on what the eyes desire. Now we are saying a deeper definition. Desire for knowledge is evil when the intellect is distorted, when it is being made into a goal unto itself. When the desire for knowledge is viewed through the eyes - through vision - the entire intellect is turned upside-down and it shows a distorted view.

It is not just because the view is based on physical vision and thus misleading. It is intellect that has become downgraded to the level of the eyes, and then, what seems like right looks like left, and seems like left is really right.This is the depth of “Eitz HaDa’as Ra” in the soul.

In contrast, “Eitz HaDa’as Tov” in the soul is a view through the pure intellect, unclothed by the garment of vision; and “Eitz HaDa’as Ra” is when the intellect is viewed through the garment of vision, when “the eye sees and the heart desires.” But even more so, as we have now explained, the desire for the “Eitz HaDa’as” was evil because it was intellect viewed through the eyes, which distorts the intellect.

Our Rabbis wrote that the words of an ignoramus show us what the truth is, because whatever he says is really the opposite of the truth. The depth of this is that an ignoramus understands only through vision, while a Torah scholar understands through the prism of intellect without vision.

Thus, if a Torah scholar says that right is left and left is right, Chazal say to listen to him, because the Torah scholar has the accurate view, while the average person thinks he has the correct view but he’s really seeing the incorrect view. The Torah scholar sees through intellect without vision, so he can see right and left, while the average person sees intellect through vision, which is a distorted view – it sees right as left and left as right. Therefore, we are told to always listen to the Torah scholar’s opinion. It is not just to have emunah (trust) in the words of the Sages – it is rather to realize that the Torah scholar has the true view on things, while the average person doesn’t see properly.

When vision distorts the intellect, this is the mixture of good and evil in what our soul sees. This is the “Eitz HaDa’as Tov V’Ra” in the soul.

Thus, Chavah saw the opposite of what she was really supposed to see. To illustrate, a mirror shows you the opposite – left appears right, and vice versa. The eye sees through the black pigment and not through the white part, and the black part of the eye sees the opposite. When you see through the eyes, you see the opposite of the true view.

Distorted Perception

Hashem placed a churning sword of fire to guard the Eitz HaChaim. The depth of this is that vision shows us an upside-down view. Vision turns over the intellect and distorts it, showing you an opposite view of the truthful perspective. Herein lays the root of all mistaken perspectives: when people understand through vision, and not through intellect. The intellect sees something as it is, while vision shows you an upside down view.

Shochad, mental bribery, essentially ties a person to a vision he has seen. His mind is limited to the vision, so he comes to make an erroneous conclusion. The word for “eye” in Hebrew is ayin, which has the same letters as the word ani, “I”, because the eye shows a person what “I” want to see. The eye turns over one’s da’as and this shows a person a distorted view.

“Desire of the eyes” is when a person doesn’t actually see an accurate view. It is a biased view. The eye turns over everything! Vision turns over the accurate view and shows a person the opposite view of the unbiased intellect.

To put it briefly, this is the root of all problems.

Turning Over The Initial View

Now we will return to discussing the first point. These are matters which are very essential to how we work with our soul.

Ever since the sin, we see a distorted view. Man was created yoshor (upright), but after the sin we fell from the state of “yoshor” into a state of cheshbonos rabim (“many calculations”).

The secret of Purim is “V’nahafoch Hu”, to turn over what we see as “hafoch” (upside-down), and then we see the “hafoch” (opposite-view view) of the “hafoch” that we currently see - which is really the first, accurate view on things.

This is really the power of imagination. “Hafoch” is related to the word “kaf” (ladle), and kaf is an allusion to the letter “kaf” of the Aleph Beis, which is the letter that is used to describe the imagination (“kaf hadimyon” – the letter “kaf” means “as if”, alluding to the idea of comparing, which uses the imagination). Imagination is thus fueled by the power of “hafoch”, because it turns over things. The mind shows you the accurate view, and the imagination shows you an upside-down view. (We rectify it for holiness by ‘turning over’ the turned-over view, which returns us to the straight view of yoshor).

These are the words of our Rabbis, and we are just simplifying them.

Vision shows us an opposite view of the truth. This is also called kelipah kodemes l’pri, “the shell comes before the fruit.” First we see an opposite view of things, or, we first see “achor” (the back) and not the panim (front) of something. Our avodah is therefore to remove the upside-down view and reveal the panim of something.

Now we can return to the first point with greater clarity. Why indeed was the desire for knowledge for the Eitz HaDa’as an evil desire? It was because the desire for knowledge was seen as a means to itself, and this is a really an upside-down view. We have to see the “hafoch” of the “hafoch”, to turn over the upside-down view, which is the view of “Eitz HaDa’as Tov”.

When a person sees something through his eyes, he sees what he sees, and that is the root of all problems. So a person has to tell himself that what he sees is really the opposite of the true view! Keep turning everything ever. Turn over the vision, and then you will see the intellect of something. This is the meaning of “seichel d’kedushah”, holy intellect. 

Thus, if we think we understand something just because we see it, this brings down the intellect to the level of the eyes. But if a person realizes that the eyes are the opposite of real intellect, and that what the eye desires is really a sign that the mind disagrees, he then accesses his mind’s view, which turns over the turned-over view of the eyes. The intellect is essentially a tool to turn over the turned-over view we initially see, and that is how we use the role of the intellect. This is the “Eitz HaDa’as Tov” of the soul.

(Seichel, intellect, comes from the word “salek”, to remove. This shows us that we need to remove our initial perception of something, which is the opposite of what it really is. Then we need to see what it really is. We need to remove what we “see” and instead see what something really is.)

Hashem created this world for us to fix it and bring it to its perfection. We do this by turning over everything in creation and revealing its opposite.

(A wife is called eizer k’negdo, a helpmate who opposes man. The depth of this matter is that marriage is a change in which a person totally turns himself over. A person reaches his perfection precisely through being opposed by his wife.)

So the desire for knowledge is evil when a person thinks that what he sees is reality; his intellect is confined to what his eyes see. It is good when a person realizes that what he sees is really the upside down view.

The Difference Between Chemdah\Desire and Havayah\Essence

Now we will proceed to discuss a higher point.

There were two parts to the evil desire for knowledge for the Eitz HaDa’as. First of all, there was an eitz\tree, and secondly, the tree was “nechmad l’haskil”, pleasing to the intellect. So the entire seichel\intellect here was coming from “chemdah”, desire.

The sefer Iglei Tal[1] famously writes that one is allowed to enjoy learning the Torah and that enjoying one’s learning is not considered shelo lishmah (learning  Torah for ulterior motivations); and not only that, but that enjoying your learning is considered learning the greatest kind of Torah lishmah (for its own sake). There is supposed to be chemdah in one’s learning.

We daven every day that we should become accustomed to learning the words of Torah, that we should have a hergel (habit) in it. The Kotzker Rebbe zt”l explained that the level of hergel in Torah is above chemdah in Torah – it is more praiseworthy to be accustomed to learning Torah than to desire it and enjoy it.

There is a level of learning Torah through either hergel\habit or chemdah\desire. The holy kind of hergel, which is to have hergel in Torah, is to realize, Torah is reality, therefore I am learning it. It is above the level of chemdah and taanug. 

The lower use of chemdah in Torah is to simply have chemdah for it, which is when we said “Naaseh V’Nishmah” (We will do and we will hear). The higher level is to have hergel in Torah, which is when we were forced to accept the Torah. It would seem simply that chemdah is a higher level than hergel. But the depth is really the opposite, according to our Rabbis: hergel in Torah is a higher level than chemdah in Torah.

“Naaseh V’Nishma” came from our ratzon, our will, while the fact that we were forced to accept the Torah showed that there is a higher point in the soul than ratzon. Our ratzon can change, for it is essentially our power of bechirah, free will. But there is a point in us that is above bechirah, which is a deeper point in the soul.

Accepting the Torah through “Naaseh V’Nishmah” means we accepted it from our ratzon, which implies that without our ratzon, we wouldn’t have accepted it. The fact that we were forced to accept the Torah shows that our very havayah\existence demanded that we accept the Torah, regardless of our ratzon or not. That was a much higher level than our ratzon to receive the Torah. That havayah was revealed through our ratzon, of course, but the havayah still exists regardless if there is a ratzon or not.

Let us examine the desire for knowledge. Does it come from ratzon or above the ratzon? With the desire for the Eitz HaDa’as, it came from man’s ratzon, for it was “desirable to the eyes”. The Eitz HaDa’as was about knowledge stemming from a ratzon to know.

Had there been a desire for the Eitz HaChaim, it would have been a desire to know because it is our very havayah to know, and it is not dependent on ratzon. When Chavah desired the Eitz HaDa’as and then she found it “pleasing to the intellect” as well, it was rooted in the same thing: a desire to know, stemming from ratzon. What did she want to know? She wanted to know the difference between tov and ra (good and evil).

Had she desired the Eitz HaChaim, it would have been a desire for Chochmah (wisdom)which is to know havayah (essence of wisdom). The Eitz HaChaim was not about knowing what tov is, for it was not a mixture of tov and ra. The desire for the Eitz HaDa’as was a desire for da’as, was to a desire to know the difference between tov and ra.

The Rambam says that emes, truth, is what exists, while sheker, falsity, is what doesn’t exist. Thus, emes is really about knowing havayah – the true meaning of reality (and sheker is anything that is not havayah). Tov and ra (good and evil) both exist, and currently, they are mixed together, for we live after the sin, where good and evil became mixed together. Our avodah is to use our power of ratzon (will) to choose tov (good) over ra (evil).The system of tov and ra is to know what ratzon is, while the system of emes and sheker, which existed before the sin, is to know of havayah.

Thus, when a person learns Torah simply because it is enjoyable, such desire for knowledge is purely stemming from ratzon, which contains a mixture of good and evil. The higher level of learning is to realize that Torah is our very havayah - thus, the understanding is that it is sheker not to desire Torah.

The Ibn Ezra explains that the commandment of Lo Sachmod (“Do not covet”) is to recognize that you can’t be envious of something that’s impossible for you to reach.

The desire for knowledge for the Eitz HaDa’as stemmed from their ratzon to know of its knowledge, and it was expressed through their desire of their eyes. It was a desire for chochmah that stemmed from their ratzon, which made it into a desire for da’as, not for havayah.

This folly was fixed when the Jewish people said Naaseh V’Nishmah, for they were willing to do Hashem’s ratzon because we realized that it was our very havayah to do His ratzon. We said Naaseh before Nishmah, to show that we will do even before we hear, because it is our very havayah to accept the Torah.

“Naaseh” was uttered before “Nishmah”. The question is: Now that we already committed ourselves to the Torah, what is there left for us to hear, if we already know what to do? It is to hear the view of intellect, which is above the level of action. It is the avodah to hear from our very havayah (essence) – which is a higher level than hearing from our ratzon (will). Had we said Nishmah before Naaseh, we would have been hearing from ratzon, and then the forcing to accept the Torah would have been about being forced to accept the Torah’s mitzvos. But when we said Naaseh before Nishmah, we were saying that we will accept the Torah from our very havayah, regardless of our ratzon. We gave up our ratzon and we wanted Hashem to force us into accepting the Torah.

Thus, the desire for knowledge, for the Eitz HaDa’as, was a desire to know because it was desirable. But the desire for the Eitz HaChaim is to want to know even if we don’t find it appealing. Their desire for knowledge was evil because it came entirely from chemdah to know, while the ideal desire for knowledge is to have a desire for knowledge even when we don’t have a chemdah to know – to desire knowledge because it is our very havayah to know.

Now that we live after the sin, we have shelo lishmah (ulterior motives), mixed into everything, so now we require chemdah in our Torah learning.

The root of the sin with the Eitz HaDa’as was that it was a desire to know out of chemdah\ratzon, and not out of havayah. Had there been a desire for the Eitz HaChaim, it would have been a desire to know of havayah.

These are two totally different viewpoints. Generally, they are called Eitz HaDa’as and Eitz HaChaim. The meaning of chaim\life is not about chemdah, it is about havayah. There is a will to live, but life itself is not ratzon - it is havayah.

How To Use The Power of Chemdah\Desiring Knowledge

To make this concept practical, now we can understand what holy chemdah is and what unholy chemdah is for knowledge.

If one uses chemdah for the sake of taanug (enjoyment) in having chemdah, this is negative, and this reflects the desire for the Eitz HaDa’as Ra in the soul. But if one uses chemdah as a way for me to connect to the Torah, this is Eitz HaDa’as Tov.

Thus, when one enjoys his Torah learning, if he’s learning solely for the sake of the enjoyment, this is “Eitz HaDa’as Ra”. But if one uses chemdah in his learning as a tool to connect himself to the chochmah, he is only using the chemdah as a means to a greater end - and this reflects the “Eitz HaDa’as Tov”.

In our current level of da’as, as we live now after the sin, we have two uses of our da’as. Da’as is the highest point in our mind which we can use to ascend to the point above the mind, which is the ratzon (will), and from there, we can use our da’as to reach our havayah (essence). The da’as can differentiate and decide what our ratzon is; it chooses.[2] A higher power is da’as d’chibbur, the power to connect information, and this can connect a person to the point above the ratzon, which is havayah.

They are two different systems of da’as: a da’as that stems from ratzon (a will for knowledge that stems from desire, and not from the essence of the soul),or a da’as that stems from havayah (a desire for knowledge that stems from one’s very essence, which desires to know).

Ratzon is when “I want”, while havayah is what I am supposed to do – what came before my “I”. This is also known as emunah, and it is also known as higher da’as. It is way above the ratzon. They are two totally different ways to live life. One kind of person also does what Hashem wants, while a higher level is to do what Hashem said because that is what He decreed upon me to do, what He has “carved” me to do.

There are two steps. Step One is to nullify my ratzon, which is called hishtavus (equalizing). Step Two is to accept what Hashem decrees on me, for I am not in charge. What’s the difference? When a person has worries and concerns, after he makes the necessary effort, he needs to first nullify his ratzon, and then accept whatever Hashem has decreed.

(We are not talking about choosing between good and evil, which is a lower use of bechirah. When it comes to refraining from a sin, we must refrain from it whether we want to or not. We are talking about choosing in areas that are not outright evil, that in order to choose what is correct, the avodah is to nullify one’s ratzon, in these two steps).

In Conclusion

To conclude, if one’s chemdah for da’as (desire for knowledge) is causing one to want to connect to his havayah – meaning, he sees the knowledge he is trying to obtain as his very havayah, thus he has chemdah towards it - this is da’as of the Eitz HaDa’as Tov in the soul, and it is holy chemdah. Such is the correct attitude to have towards learning Torah.

But if it’s just chemdah being used for the sake of chemdah, it reflects the desire for the Eitz HaDa’as Ra, a mere desire for knowledge, a curiosity, a will that must be nullified.

Even in using holy chemdah, which is the Eitz HaDa’as Tov in the soul, it must be used as a tool for a greater goal, which is to bring oneself to the Eitz HaChaim in oneself, which is greater than the Eitz HaDa’as Tov in the soul –  a desire to connect to the knowledge of the Torah because it is one’s very havayah.