Getting to Know Your Simcha - 017 Being Happy With What You Have

Someach B’Chelko

The Mishnah in Avos states, “Who is wealthy? One who is happy with his lot (someach b’chelko).”

It’s clear that this doesn’t simply mean that one is happy with whatever he has if he doesn’t have anything to be happy about. We all need something we can hold onto to be able to say of it that we are happy. Someach b’chelko is only if we reach our cheilek – when we reach our “lot”.

Most people are not happy with what they have for this very reason. They have never reached their cheilek yet. They don’t even have a cheilek yet to be happy about.

Really, it can be said that all people haven’t reached their cheilek yet. This is because a person’s happiness is perfect and complete only if he has uncovered his entire soul (which consists of five parts)[1], and most people have not uncovered their entire soul.

Since most people have not uncovered their soul in its entirety, so how is it possible for us to be happy?

Sadness From “Heaviness”

The answer to this is based upon a statement of Chazal, which says that a merchant feels sad after a sale, while the buyer is happy. We can understand why the buyer is happy, because he’s happy with the item he bought; but why is the owner sad? Didn’t he want to sell it so he could make money off it?

He is sad because when he sells it, he has mixed feelings about it. He wanted to make money, but it was hard for him to part with his merchandise. He feels as if he had to do it, but he didn’t really want to.

This teaches us about what makes a person sad or happy: people to choose what they want, and not to feel dragged into something. When a person feels dragged into something, it’s like a heavy item being dragged – heaviness comes from the element of earth, which is the root of sadness.

Enjoying The Moment

Really, every person has a cheilek – each person is able to find what he has in his life to be happy about. But the problem is that it is usually only temporary – even when we have what to be happy about, it is temporary and it doesn’t last.

The solution for this is to change our attitude toward our temporary happiness.

When you feel happy about something you have right now in your life, even if you know it won’t last, you can enjoy it now and be happy with it. Enjoy the moment - and accept that what you have now will eventually go away. This fact doesn’t have to ruin your happiness. You can be fully aware that you’re only temporarily happy, yet that this doesn’t have to take away your happiness.

The problem is when people feel that their current happiness will be permanent, when really it is only temporary. If a person wants to hold onto his happiness forever, he’s doomed for sadness, because he thinks it is permanent happiness when really it is just temporary. Instead, a person should be fully aware that whatever he has now is only temporary – and enjoy it anyway.

When a person thinks that his happiness is permanent, he attaches a feeling of security to his current happiness, and this leads to frustration. Nothing is guaranteed to last; when a person feels that something is guaranteed to last, he gets security from it, and when he is disappointed to see it not live up to his expectations, the result is sadness.

With anything you have to be happy about, realize that it’s not everything – it is only a cheilek. Be aware that it’s only passing – and you’ll find yourself enjoying whatever you have.

Realizing That Everything Is Temporary

Happiness consists of three factors: being happy when we are on a path to get to what we want (which we spoke of previously), getting to the goal (which we also spoke about), and now have added on a third factor: to have the attitude that what we have now to be happy about is only temporary.

When we speak of someach b’chelko, we are not referring to each person’s destined cheilek in spirituality that is unique to each individual’s soul. That is the higher level of someach b’chelko. We are describing a more basic kind of happiness that is someach b’chelko – to view whatever you have as temporary, and that nothing is permanent.

For example, if I like my house and am happy with it, the proper attitude I need to have is that it’s my cheilek – it’s what I have temporarily. If I think my house is permanent and I feel security because of my house, my house won’t provide me with happiness.

But if I’m aware that my house is my cheilek for now, even though it’s temporary – I know that it’s all mine, but I am aware that it’s only for now and it’s not forever – this is how I can receive happiness from anything that is my cheilek.

If I have any particular item, there are two different attitudes to have toward it – one of them will give me happiness, and the other will not. If I’m happy because I’m engrossed in something I have, then really I’m attaching permanence to it. It won’t give me happiness. But if I am aware that I’m just using it as a tool to get something, then I will enjoy it and be happy with it.

That is this world: either we can choose to become engrossed in all that’s available in the world and think that this will give us happiness (which it won’t), or we can look at everything in this world as just something we need to use as a tool somehow.

If a person is connected to just about anything on this world because he’s all wrapped up in it, this makes him sad. But if we connect to what’s available on this world only because we realize that we have to make use of it – we will find ourselves being happy with anything.